Page 76 of Jesse's Girl

“Maybe? I think he just… wants to do the right thing. Be honorable or respectful or whatever. And I get it. I get it. I don’t want to hurt Marcus, either. But like?—”

“But you still want him to rail you into next week?”

My stomach hollows and my shoulders sag at the thought. “So much,” I say. “Fuck. More like next month.”

Katie’s cackle on the other end of the line lifts me up a bit, and I smile.

I don’t know how I’m going to function being around Jesse at home, with my mind spinning wild with sexy scenarios anytime he’s near me. I don’t trust myself with him anymore. It’s like I’m standing on a precipice built of rapidly crumbling willpower, about to do or say something profoundly inappropriate any minute.

Hell, I’ve probably already crossed that line.

“Well, I think you could pull it off,” she muses. “I mean, you have an apartment together with fully functioning locks. Pretty solid, privacy-wise.”

“Right?” I have to admit that had crossed my mind.

“Maybe Jesse just needs a little… convincing.”

“I dunno.” I chew the inside of my cheek.

“And he’s leaving at the end of August, so… there’s an end date.”

“Right.” He absolutely cannot stay here longer, looking at me with those hungry blue eyes and melting my brain into wanting to take stupid risks. Because the sight of him makes me want to throw caution, along with my panties, to the wind.

“It wouldn’t go on forever,” Katie continues. “Unless you want more than just sex. But I know how you feel about long distance.”

“Yeah, fuck that. No. Never again.” I pause, once again shoving aside the inkling that what I feel for Jesse is something more than physical. “Besides, I don’t want a relationship at all,” I say, fighting the way the words feel clumsy coming out of my mouth. “I’m just… horny.”

I’m in a fucking state, alright. This morning, as I came out of the shower, my gaze had snagged on Jesse’s deodorant, sitting on the bathroom counter beside my makeup bag. Glancing over my shoulder to ensure the door was locked, I’d slowly picked it up and popped the lid, inhaling its citrusy, spicy scent like an addict taking a hit. God damn, he smells so good. When I caught myself, I quickly capped it and put it back on the counter, backing away a step. Apparently, my desperation has reached a fever pitch—because there I was, locked in our bathroom on a Saturday morning, turned on by huffing Jesse’s man-smell off something that literally goes in his armpits.

I need to get a grip.

“Well, then,” Katie says, “I think you could have a bit of fun and just… be careful not to get caught. Marcus never has to know.”

“Why am I simultaneously relieved and horrified that you’re encouraging this?”

She laughs. “Because you’re a decent person. And it’s risky. But it could also be amazing. I dunno. Maybe that’s shitty of me to say. Am I being a terrible human? Telling you to go fuck your brother’s best friend?”

“No, you’re perfect. Never change.” I let out a breath. “And I think you’re right—about it being amazing. This energy when we’re together is… wild,” I add, remembering that tension between us in line for the food truck.

Kyle pops his head into the break room, pointing at his watch.

Shit, I’m late.

I jump up, stuffing my purse back into my locker.

Message ostensibly delivered, Kyle disappears around the corner.

“Katie, I gotta get back to work. Talk later?”

“I’m off this weekend. Can we get some us time in?”

“Yes! I’ll text you. Thanks, Dollface. Love you.”

“Anytime. Love you too. Now, go get some. And take notes because you know I’m gonna want details.”

I smile and hang up, then hightail it back to the bar and apologize to Kyle for losing track of time.

“Something up?” he asks with a cocked eyebrow.

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