Page 118 of Jesse's Girl

“Jesse, this is Mrs. Nicolosi,” Ada explains, her face almost ashen. “She goes to church with my parents.”

“Nice to meet you.” I force a smile and extend my hand.

She shakes it vigorously, covering it with her other hand as the shopping bags slide over her freckled forearms. She gives me an appraising once-over and turns to Ada. “Nice to see you’ve found yourself a looker like this one.”

I try to suppress the wince but know I must be mirroring Ada’s stricken expression.

“Oh, um…” Ada starts, shaking her head, then seems to decide she’s not up for picking this particular battle. “Thank you.”

Of course this woman would assume we’re a couple. We were sure as shit acting like it just now. Hell, I can’t deny that line has been blurring for me, too, this last week. Weeks, even. This thing had already left the station well before we gave in to it.

“Anyway,” Mrs. Nicolosi says, letting go of my hand. “Don’t let me interrupt you two lovebirds!” She turns to pat Ada on the cheek. “Tell your parents I say hello.”

“Uh, will do, yeah,” Ada says, clearly trying to hide her dread behind a pasted-on smile.

Ada mouths a silent fuck as Mrs. Nicolosi heads down the sidewalk.

26

ADA

Running into Mrs. Nicolosi was the wake-up call I desperately needed. Our trip to the city was a flimsy excuse to justify being physical outside the apartment. Huge mistake. Probably one of many in a slippery slope of mistakes I’ve made since Jesse’s been here. I should have ended this a long time ago—or better yet, found a way to stop myself before we started anything.

I tell Jesse I need some space when we get back and, for the first time since we started this, we spend the night in separate beds. It almost breaks me. I have to walk myself back to my own bed on two separate occasions after nearly making it to his door like some pathetic, lovesick puppy.

He’d tried so hard to do something nice for me in Seattle, and I’d panicked and thrown it back in his face. The pressure I’d felt from him was real, but I know my reaction was mostly the frustrations with my parents burbling up to the surface, as always.

By the time I wake up in the morning, he’s already gone. A sticky note on the fridge reads “Off to locate my chill” with a little arrow in the corner. I peel it off and flip it over.

Text me when you see this. - J

A warmth spreads over my chest, and I smile to myself. Then, a pang of dread punches me in the gut.

What am I doing?

This man is my brother’s best friend. I can’t do this. I can’t fall for him. Who do I think I’m kidding, here? And, even if Marcus wasn’t a factor or we could somehow come clean, the reality is that Jesse lives on the other side of the world’s biggest ocean. Best-case scenario, we’d try to keep in touch via email or text. But it wouldn’t last. Between the distance and the time difference, it’d be impossible to keep any shred of connection going. And I can’t do long distance—can’t risk a repeat of what happened with Pascal. The strain from being apart would inevitably push him to find someone else… I feel nauseated just thinking about it.

Fuck. I’m already in too deep.

I find my phone and text him.

Me

Hey, just woke up. Where’d you go?

Jesse

Gym. Then I’m gonna visit mom. Then I dunno. Coffee? Walk? Netflix?? Something chill.

Damnit. Joke bait.

Never one to back down from a punchline, I can’t help myself and tap out my reply.

Me

Netflix and chill?

Jesse

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