Page 16 of Jesse's Girl

Renee nods as I speak, looking almost awe-struck. There are a few small farms around Lennox Valley, but most of the population lives in the town center with no real connection to the land. I’m sure, to her, I sound like I’d been on another planet. It had felt a bit like one too. Which had been the whole point—to put some distance between me and my parents. Between me and Naomi. The Pacific Ocean had turned out to be some distance, alright.

“Wasn’t there a fruit farm?” Marcus asks, likely remembering his visit to see me on the coast of Queensland a few years ago.

“Yup. Fruit, sugarcane, rice, corn…” I list them off, counting on my fingers. I shake my head, realizing how many odd jobs I’ve worked while I’ve been down there. I basically picked up anything I could with long hours of physical labor. The hard work wore my body and mind to the point of exhaustion, and I was grateful to not have to think. Over time, it got easier to forget what was happening back home. And then I just… stayed.

Our server appears and quickly takes our order before hurrying off into the din of the busy restaurant.

“What do you do for fun on a farm? Cow tipping?” Renee asks with a chuckle.

I give her a polite smile. “I don’t think that’s really a thing. More of an urban legend.”

She looks sheepish.

“But uh, no, I didn’t get out much. Long hours. Most of the year, at least. And we were pretty far from town. Did some dirt biking.” I shrug.

“How’d you manage to date?”

I make a noncommittal sound and shake my head. I’ve wrangled everything from produce to horses—not a lot of dates, though.

Renee’s brows shoot up as she leans in. “You mean to tell me you spent most of your twenties in the bush and barely got out? No partying or anything like that?”

“So, really, not much time in the bush,” Marcus quips, earning an eye roll from Renee.

“I mean, when we had time off, we’d go into the city and live it up. There was this girl in Brisbane for a while. But nothing serious. I didn’t really want that, anyway, after Naomi…” I glance at Marcus, who gives me a sober nod. “And my job didn’t exactly give me the chance to try.”

“Seems like such a waste.” Renee pouts.

I clear my throat, suddenly aware of how much I’ve shared and the sad smile Renee has trained on me. “Yeah, but I love it there, honestly. It’s rewarding work, actually seeing how what we do puts food on the table, y’know?” Grateful the pity has vanished from her expression, I continue. “And I’ve been taking on some bigger projects—some cool sustainability stuff… It’s good.” I smile, trying to sell it. It’s not a lie, exactly.

“That’s great, man,” Marcus says, setting his pint on the table. “Hey, uh, and I don’t wanna jinx it or anything, but maybe if… or when your mom’s doing better,” he corrects himself, “you might wanna catch up with everyone?”

I suck in a breath, considering this. No, I want to blurt out. It’s been too long. There’s no point. But the hopeful look on Marcus’ face stops me.

“Nah,” I say, trying to let him down easy. “I mean, I need to take care of my mom. I wasn’t really… planning on a social visit, y’know? Plus, it’s been ages. Probably have nothing in common with those guys anymore.”

Because I’ve let those friendships wither and die. I push down a stab of regret.

He nods slowly, pressing his lips together, and says nothing. After fifteen years of friendship, he knows pushing me is a sure-fire way to get me to dig in my heels. But I can tell he’s disappointed.

“Dude, I’m happy to see you; don’t get me wrong,” I say, trying to ease the sting. “But I wasn’t exactly planning on coming back.”

“Like… at all? Ever?” Renee asks.

“I mean, yeah? I dunno. I think so? I’ve got a good setup in Oz. A decent job. A place to stay.” I lift my chin toward Marcus. “And you know how I wanted to steer clear of all the bullshit with my family… My life is pretty much there now.”

“Okay,” is all he says, and takes a sip of beer.

Swirling the last of my diluted blue drink in my glass, I glance over at the bar, where Ada’s talking to a customer and laughing.

“You both up for another round?” I ask, draining the dregs. I try to catch our server’s attention, but he’s clearly slammed. I shift in my seat to stand, knowing it’ll be faster if I just go to the bar myself.

“Sure,” Marcus says and Renee nods. He reaches for his wallet.

“No, man,” I say, waving him off. “I’ve got it.”

Crossing the room, I can’t help but watch Ada.

Nothing wrong with that. She’s the bartender and I’m heading for the bar. I’m basically just watching where I’m going.

---