Page 119 of Lucy Undying

“Well,” I say, “I feel like we should address the undead elephant in the room.”

She doesn’t let out an annoyed sigh. I guess that’s one big change. No more weary exhalations, no more sighs, no more hisses. So that’s nice. But her expression conveys the sigh fairly well. “Yes, Iris, I’m not dead anymore,” she snaps. “Though we prefer the term ‘living goddess.’ ”

I snort. “Oh, that’s so cringey. I’m embarrassed for you.”

Her eyes narrow. I brace myself. Whatever she says next will hurt. Then one corner of her mouth hooks up in a smile. “It’s going to happen to you, too.”

My hand flies to my neck. It’s bandaged, but I know what’s underneath. Those twin points throb as if his teeth are still there. “Because of what he did to me?”

She has the decency to look cross. I’m glad she’s annoyed that her pet vampire attacked me. Maybe she does have a single maternal bone in her body, after all. But one of the small, useless ones. Her coccyx, probably.

“No,” she snaps. “We stopped that before it could progress past the point of no return.”

That must have been who was shouting on the porch. Did I manage to squeak out an invite before I passed out? Doesn’t matter. I’m alive. And Dracula is…

“Where is he now?”

“He doesn’t matter.” My mother’s left eye twitches with the lie. She thinks she knows me, but I’ve made an art of studying her. He does matter to them. Which means they’ll keep him safe. Which means Lucy will live.

I want him to suffer. I want him ended in agony. But not if it means Lucy dies, too. Even if she’s not in my life, I want to know she’s still out there, somewhere.

I put an arm over my forehead. “So, what? One of your cronies turns me before I die, like they did to you? Hard pass.”

“No one ‘turned’ me. It was always going to happen. It’s what’s wrong with our—sorry, your blood. Mine’s no longer a problem. Everyone in our family line is born infected.”

“Because of Dracula,” I say, feeling sick all over again. It makes a strange sort of sense. Dracula bit Mina and gave her his blood, but he never finished the job. And then she had a baby afterward. Born infected, then passing it down the line to us.

My mother keeps talking. “Our bodies fight back, trying to keep the vampirism dormant. That’s why we’re anemic, and why our immune systems attack our blood cells when our core temperature drops too low. But eventually our bodies lose the battle, and we die. Then our true nature can take over.” For once, her smile isn’t a performance. It’s genuine.

“You’re happy about it!”

“This is what I was born to be. What I’m meant to be. That other phase, that shadow of a life? It was nothing but suffering.”

“Then why did you fight to stay alive? All those transfusions, all that medical care.”

“It’s our sacrifice. The price we pay to become this. To live forever under the protection and power and pride that the Goldaming family name offers. We might be born into it, but we still have to earn it.”

Sounds like religious bullshittery to me. Like the churches that say God loves you unconditionally but then proceed to give you a bill you’re expected to pay to stay in God’s unconditional love, accompanied by all the many, many conditions under which God actually no longer unconditionally loves you.

“Either we’re born to be vampires or we’re not, Mom. Don’t see why we have to earn it.”

“Living goddesses,” she snaps. “Every new generation is required to give as much blood as they can, because the blood—”

“Is life?”

“No, the blood is worth a tremendous amount of money, you little brat. Stop interrupting me. Our empire was built on that blood and its unique properties. Do you think I wanted to be a mother?”

“Wow. Wow. We’re just being fully honest now. Okay.”

She shakes her head in disgust. “You act like you’re the first woman who ever wanted to walk away from the responsibilities and demands on her body and life. Well, too bad, Iris. We have a legacy to uphold. We have a line to continue. And you’re going to participate, whether you like it or not. I tried to help you have more children, earlier. Release you from some of the burden I felt so keenly.”

“Oh fuck you forever, Mom.” I try to get out of bed but I’m too weak to manage it. That’s why she started this conversation before I got medical care. I literally can’t leave. “You weren’t trying to help me, you were trying to breed me. That wasn’t kindness. That was straight-up evil, and we both know it.”

She leans back in her chair. “Stop being petulant. This is what you were born into, and you’ll contribute whether you want to or not. Don’t make it harder on yourself than it has to be.” She stands. I think I’m free, but then she reaches beneath her chair for something. “Then again, you never could take the easy path. I don’t suppose this will be any different. And don’t think I don’t know about this.”

She drops my precious silver dagger on the nightstand. “That was really hurtful, Iris. I also know all about your plan to escape, and that you don’t care about your poor father. You only pretend to so we’ll believe we can control you.”

“Don’t talk to me about Dad! He lived in absolute fear of you! He still does. Real mature, breaking into his room and scaring him.”

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