Page 32 of Plaything

A few minutes went by before my phone went off.

Reesia: Google BDSM.

Chapter Six

Odette

I cringed when my alarm went off. I looked away from my computer screen for the first time in five hours. My shoulders dropped, not realizing how long I’d been going down this dark path.

Just like Reesia instructed, I googled BDSM. I wish I hadn’t; I really did. The horrible videos I’d seen were scarred in my brain, slowly rotting it.

There was just no way. How could my professors be into such painful and downright sick things?

When I first looked it up, I simply read the definition, which didn’t tell me much. Then I read a few articles which didn’t sound so bad. Then... the photos. The horrible—painful images.

There were a few pictures of a woman’s breasts with clothespins all over her flesh, pinching her nipples and the skin around them. There were several photos of bruises and scars, some with blood in them.

The videos... I couldn’t believe some people willingly put themselves through so much torture and... stretching. I got nauseous at some of the more grotesque videos that involved sharp objects.

I felt traumatized. At one point, I convinced myself that my professors were insane and that everything I thought about them was just some fantasy I had made up. What kind of sane, normal people wanted this.

I didn’t. When Niko said he wanted me, I hoped he didn’t mean this.

Last night with Wyatt was amazing; it was the most intense moment of my life. But if it led to BDSM, I wasn’t interested in the slightest.

Along with burning my eyes out of my skull, I did learn a few things that made a little more sense. The photos and videos were no help, but the articles did explain why they seemed okay with each other flirting with me and putting me in situations where the other professors could hear or see me.

A common practice in BDSM was polyamory, meaning more than two people being in a relationship together. This intrigued me because why have one of them when I could have all of them? Especially if that was what they wanted already.

However, I was concerned about how that would work exactly. I’d never even had one boyfriend. What the hell would I do with four men much older, more attractive, and a million times more experienced than me?

I shouldn’t even worry about that because I wasn’t into the pain and torture that they probably were. I’d never be able to unsee the vile things I witnessed tonight.

I didn’t sleep; I hadn’t moved from my bed. I would regret that later when the exhaustion hit, and I crashed.

After clearing my history and removing my headphones, I shut my laptop. Enough of that.

Feeling dirty, I showered, compliantly disgusted with myself after what I watched. I’d never watched any kind of porn, and I probably shouldn’t have gone as deep as I did. None of it was a turn-on. I washed up quickly, not letting the cold water hit me.

Dressing in a black skirt and a tight white button-down blouse, I called it good. I had massive bags under my eyes from not sleeping; the well-put-together outfit should make up for my zombieness.

I spent half an hour showering, dressing, and brushing my hair before five-thirty hit, and I had to start my drive. None of my professors were awake yet, which I was thankful for.

How was I supposed to look at them? I heard Dominic moan. Niko and Aiden heard me moaning. Wyatt touched me. To put a cherry on top of everything, I knew how sick and twisted they were.

I was going to need a while to process.

Absentmindedly taking notes through my physics class, my mind was entirely elsewhere. A lot of this was a recap from our last class, anyway.

After my class, I had half an hour before it was time for Niko’s class. I got a coffee, smiling when I remembered how, just yesterday, I warned Dominic about how addictive it could be.

I sat in the auditorium, away from any noise and other students.

Niko said he was the selfish one yesterday. Now, I thought I was. I really didn’t want them to want anything to do with BDSM, let alone want that kind of relationship. I was the world’s most selfish person because if that was what they wanted, I couldn’t let myself have them.

There wasn’t an ounce of me that wanted to be hurt, burned with wax, cut, pinched, poked with something that looked like the back of a cowboy boot, had giant objects shoved in me, or anything else that I saw. I just couldn’t...

After deciding I should just end whatever started yesterday, I walked to Niko’s class. I couldn’t lead myself on and wouldn’t do the same to them. They want something that I didn’t, and I wouldn’t be the one to let them down. It wouldn’t be easy, but it was the right thing to do.

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