Page 69 of Capuleto

"You heard me, I gave my word."

"I would have done it," he replied without a hint of doubt. I knew it was true.

"It wasn't worth it when I had already achieved what I wanted."

"So you realize that I've been an idiot and it seems like they gave me a mafia license in a raffle?" I kept my composure because his reflection would have made me smile in another situation.

"We all have our flaws, and yours is that friendship blinds you and softens you."

I wasn't just saying it about the redhead, but also about my brother, whom R had no fucking idea was still alive. I didn't want to imagine what he would do to Yuri if he knew he had betrayed him.

"And yours?" he wanted to know.

"Just the opposite. Don't you see? If I could, I'd get rid of even my shadow."

"And where does that leave us?" My husband had approached cautiously.

I wish I knew because as much as I wanted to push him away, something inside me screamed not to.

"I'm not very sure. Lately, I'm unsure about anything," I confessed, exhausted. The emotional pressure was taking its toll.

"I've messed up what little was between us."

I offered him a sad smile. Deep down, I wasn't sure of that either.

Yes, the kiss upset me and the fact that he could even consider that, in some convoluted way, I might accept the redhead in my life, but from there to not wanting to see him at all...

I was also hiding things from him, and mine went much further than a tongue crossing.

I was conspiring behind his back to make him lose everything, even his life, his family, every bit of him.

Me, who prided myself on being straightforward, was going to stab him in the back in the worst way.

Romeo was a ruthless mobster, but he had a depth that many self-proclaimed good people would envy.

As we started to argue, before Irene arrived, I saw the truth reflected in his eyes.

I was no better than the redhead; she was also manipulating him for her benefit. But one of the two of us had to win the battle, and I knew it was mine when I made him choose, and he raised his weapon against Irene.

My husband would have shot without hesitation, he would have sacrificed her for me, because that was my will. Because he longed for my forgiveness above anything else.

I only needed that act of faith for a part of my soul to fracture. Would I be able to do the same and choose R over Yuri?

I looked into my husband's eyes, masking the truth that devoured my insides. I was a Koroleva; that’s how my family acted; I had no reason to feel bad about it. However, there was that annoying buzz.

I quelled the incendiary spark and sought a cold tone, so icy that it burned me inside.

"Don't torture yourself, you've known me for a few weeks, her for years. Plus, you just lost your friend, you're not in full capacity to make sound decisions. I would never allow a woman like her in our lives, make that clear."

"Are you excusing me?"

"I'm offering you a truce, just for today, don't get used to it, because I'm naturally a bitch and it's better you accept that."

"And what if I've already gotten used to it? What if I like everything you offer too much?"

I was back against the tree. He was almost on top of me and, to be honest, I missed his mouth, that mouth...

Damn it!

---