Page 50 of Capuleto

"It's okay if you are, it's normal."

"I like women!" I wasn't going to tell that professor that the idea of being gay disgusted me. That wasn't right. God had created men to love women and have children. Being gay wasn't normal, no matter what some people thought.

"But?" His question was an opportunity to understand what was happening to me, to see if I had some imbalance causing those thoughts. I needed to talk to someone outside my circle to understand and take action. I clenched my fists and admitted through gritted teeth.

"There's someone, a guy. I can't understand why I react to him as if he were a woman." I was relieved that his expression remained unchanged.

"Does it only happen with him?" I nodded. "You might be hetero-curious."

"Hetero what?"

"Hetero-curious people are heterosexuals who, at some point, feel desire towards someone of their own sex. It's natural to want to experiment. At your age, hormones are a festival. You don't have to feel bad about it; any kind of sexuality is valid. There's nothing strange or offensive about liking someone of the same sex, even if it's just one person. You shouldn't be ashamed. If you want my advice, I'd say talk to your friend. Maybe he feels the same way, and you might be surprised."

"I don't think so," I murmured, overwhelmed by the possibility that Romeo might feel the same way. What would I do if he did? He was my enemy; I couldn't like him in that way. It was impossible.

"Try it. You have nothing to lose." If only he knew... "Meet with him, have dinner in a relaxed setting, and try telling him. It will be much better than keeping it inside." I got very nervous at the possibility.

"Forget what I said, okay? It was nonsense. I'm just stressed about exams, that's all. Don't tell anyone, okay?"

"No, of course not. I would never do that. I'm here to help you, remember. If you need to talk to someone, I'll always be here. You're a brilliant student, don't let anything destabilize you."

I never went back to him; I focused on my studies, and my professor never brought up the topic again. Still, the idea he planted took hold of me, and one night when R and I were pretty wasted, I kissed him.

Feeling his tongue against mine was one of the most exciting things I had ever experienced, until he pushed me away and asked if I had lost my mind.

That's when I knew. There would never be anything between Romeo and me. I was a fool for trying to make it happen.

Rage consumed me. That idiot professor was wrong. I wasn't hetero-curious; I was a damn attack dog thirsty for domination. And I was going to screw over Romeo until he was subdued, crush his manhood, and take over his empire.

21

Devil

Telling Adriano that Romeo was lying in a hospital bed because a desperate father had tried to turn him into barbecue meat, with my sandpaper-like tact, was not something I wanted to do.

I assumed that Julieta had given him some hidden reasons that the child could understand, but since I hadn't talked to her, I had no idea what she told him.

I reached him, stepping down the stairs that separated us. He was wearing his Batman pajamas since it was his bedtime. Ana María had already given him dinner, and he was in his room when he must have heard my arrival.

It was clear he was waiting for me, and knowing the kid, he wouldn’t leave me alone until his curiosity was satisfied.

"Didn't your aunt tell you anything?"

"I want you to do it," he countered, not giving me time to breathe.

"Why? Whatever she told you is probably fine."

"Because Aunt Julieta didn't tell me the truth."

"How do you know that?"

"You can tell when she lies; she moves her hands a lot and avoids eye contact." I almost smiled at the observation that made me feel more than proud. "You don't lie; you say what you think, even if I don't like it," he admitted seriously. Damn kid! He was too smart for his age.

"Shall we go to your room? I'm expecting someone, and you should already be in bed."

"But are you going to tell me what's going on?"

As Adriano said, I wasn't one for half-truths, and I didn't know if he was aware of what his adoptive family did. I didn't want to mess things up too much with my honesty. However, my brain screamed that he was a Korolev, and Korolevs were raised to be proud of who they were.

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