Page 63 of These Family Ties

“You don’t think any of this feels wrong?” He brushes my hair from my face, studying me. “Why now, Alara? I feel like there’s a train headed right for us, but I can’t see where it’s coming from. How can I keep you safe if I can’t fucking see it, Alara?”

“I didn’t ask you to trust them, Cal. I’ve looked at this from every angle I can think of, but what it really boils down to is this: Without jobs, we’re homeless, and my father ends up in some state-run mental hospital.” I don’t tell him that, without a job, homelessness is the best-case scenario for us. As hard as growing up ‘us’ has been, there are worse situations we could have found ourselves in. A tough life is a far cry from an abused one… and in that regard, we’ve been very blessed.

“And what happens when the other shoe drops?” He hits his knees in front of me, taking my face into his hands. “Because I can feel it in my soul, beautiful. Something more is going on here, and it’s not good.”

“Nothing about any of this is good.” I turn my head, kissing the palm of his hand. “Nothing except us. Give me another solution, and we’ll do that instead because I can’t think of one.”

“Alara…” He trails off, obviously out of good ideas.

“I know.” I try to force a reassuring smile, and he grimaces in return. Nailed it.

“Fuck.” He stands and offers me his hand, pulling me to my feet.

“I love you. We’re safe.” I’m sorry. I wrap my arms around him, burying my face in his chest, and breathe him in. He’s right. He normally is when it comes to this kind of thing, but that doesn’t make me wrong, either. Something can be unavoidable and knowingly reckless at the same time.

Seeing danger coming right at you doesn’t necessarily mean you can avoid it. Sometimes, no matter how careful you are with the things you love, they inevitably shatter before your eyes, and all you can hope for is to still make it out the other side with the shards.

***

“Breakfast?” I open the freezer and take out a popsicle.

“Absolutely not.” Cal takes it from me and replaces it with a plate.

“Awe,” I tease and walk over to the table and sit down. “Honey, you cooked. You shouldn’t have.”

“Just eat the dang toast, Alara.” He chuckles and joins me. “You look really beautiful this morning.”

“You say that every morning.” I smile around a bite of toast, super ladylike.

“Doesn’t make it any less true.” He looks down at his watch and asks, “Do you have everything you need?”

“Nope.” I shrug. “Honestly, I have no idea where my bag is. Or my keys. I have my birth control.” I reach into my back pocket. “No, wait. That’s my phone. Found my phone!”

“Your purse is sitting by the front door. I packed our lunches and put them beside your bag. Your keys are in your bag, and your pills are right” –he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the slight case, popping today’s pill out of the blister pack and directly into my hand– “there.”

“How the actual hell?” I squint, looking him over.

“It’s not magic, Alara.” He laughs. “I found your pills in the refrigerator twenty minutes ago.”

“Look, I went to get a drink to take it, and then I saw Jasper in the yard, so I took him a snack. When I got outside, I realized he was having an extra ornery day, so I tried to give him a hug.” I point out the window as if this somehow helps.

“You hugged the yard raccoon?!” He looks horrified. “Did it bite you? Are you bleeding anywhere?”

“Don’t be absurd. Jasper loves me.” I roll my eyes. “Anyway, I said I tried to hug him, not that I did. He wasn’t in the mood, so I respected his boundaries.”

“At least, there’s that.” He finishes his toast and takes both of our plates to the sink to wash them. “Is… did you build a tent in the yard?”

“Nope.” I join him at the sink, drying as he washes. “That’s a fortress. Jasper’s fortress from the elements.”

“Of course it is.” He turns off the water and leans against the counter, waiting as I put the last dry plate back in the cabinet where it belongs. “He could have rabies, you know.”

“Lots of variables there, Cal.” I shrug, pressing up on my toes to kiss him on the cheek. “If I let fear stop me from loving, the world would lose its color. And that’s far more tragic than rabies.”

“You do know that rabies causes total blindness, right?” he asks, following me to the front door.

“Semantics.” I wave off his worry and walk out onto the porch.

“No, not semantics, Alara. Science.”

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