Page 81 of Smoky Lake

Ani nodded miserably. “I…I think I love him, and he…he might love me too. But it was so fast and so intense and he doesn’t know about….”

“The attack?” Molly offered, always the blunt one.

“No, he knows about that. It’s crazy, because I don’t tell very many people. Any people, really. But I told him, every detail.”

“Okay…then, the divorce?” Charlie asked.

“No. He knows about that too. He even met John and pinned him to the floor.”

Charlie let out a squawk of delight. “I need that story. Blow by blow.” Then she sobered. “Sorry. Ignore me.”

Ani couldn’t stop a little smile from peeping out. She knew her friends, particularly Charlie, had held their tongues about John for a long time. “It was pretty great, I’ll admit.”

“It’s the baby thing,” said Lila softly. “Isn’t it? That’s what he doesn’t know about.”

“Yes, and I’m not going to tell him. I need to just accept that it’s not going to work between us. I don’t want to drag another man into a fertility nightmare. It…it destroyed…things with John…” Those sobs were clutching at her throat again, churning in her chest.

“John couldn’t handle it because he’s John,” said Charlie firmly. “I don’t know Gil, but is he anything like John?”

Ani wrinkled her forehead at the very thought of any similarity between the two. “No, not at all. He’s very…he’s like…he’s like a Knight Templar. Like my own personal bodyguard that I didn’t request or hire. But appreciated,” she added quickly.

“Just how much did you appreciate him?” Charlie lifted one meaningful eyebrow.

“A lot. There’s…a lot to appreciate.” Ani felt her face flame. “That didn’t sound right.”

Molly and Charlie high-fived each other and hooted. “That’s what I like to hear,” said Molly. “Sam says Gil is a really good guy so I was crossing my fingers you two would get together.”

“You guys don’t understand.” Ani glanced around the ring of smiling faces. “It’s not going to happen.”

“Sorry, but isn’t it too early to know that?” Lila said gently. “You could give him a chance to say for himself what he can handle. It seems to me he can handle all sorts of things.”

That was true, but those were external threats—missiles and snipers and viruses. “He might think he can handle it, but it’s hard to know until you’re going through it.“

“Exactly.” Molly pointed a finger at her. “You’re assuming he can’t handle it. You’re not even giving him a chance. Maybe you just need to take a leap of faith and at least talk to him about it.”

The others all nodded and murmured their agreement. Ani bit her lip; the thought of sharing her most recent trauma was a terrifying one. If Gil rejected her over it, she’d be crushed.

Maybe her friends were right and she should tell him why she’d cut him off. The expression on his face when she’d walked away had nearly broken her heart. He deserved better.

But she had other things to worry about first. “I need to get going. I promise I’ll think about it,” she added quickly.

“Good. You deserve to be happy. Not that you need a man to be happy,” Charlie added quickly. “Independent woman here. But you, Ani Devi, deserve a champion. I know that much.”

“I second that,” said Molly with a nod.

“Absolu-fucking-lutely!” Lila’s emphatic agreement made them all jump, since she didn’t employ swear words very often.

Ani looked at her three friends, and her heart swelled at the kindness and affection on their faces. “I love you guys.”

They fell into a chaotic group hug, from which they emerged tousled and laughing.

“I hope we didn’t just go full petri dish,” said Charlie.

Ani laughed so hard that tears flowed down her face. It was nice to know that even in anxious times like these, she could laugh with her friends and for a moment, that was all that mattered.

39

Gil kept his four-wheeler close behind Victor’s as they approached Smoky Lake. Not that he didn’t trust the scientist, but…no, he realized. He didn’t trust him. He’d been acting off ever since they got off the plane.

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