Page 46 of Calico Descending

“Technically, Neela did, as well. But I suspect it has to do with your genetics. There may be some ancestral DNA linked to the chemical structure of the pathogen. Who knows? The science is so new, we don’t yet have the answers. Which is what makes it so exciting!”

There’s nothing exciting about it, but I don’t dare stoke his anger by telling him so.

“Calithea …” The sound of my name from his mouth is strange. He’s never once called me by anything other than subject, girl, or my number. “If we find the cure, we can save thousands of people. Imagine if your mother had been given access to a vaccine before she threw herself to those Ragers.”

I made the mistake in the early days of telling him the story of my mother. Thinking it might help make me look more human in his eyes, instead of another savage to poke and prod. I regret giving him the opportunity to use her against me. “What makes you so sure the cure is still below? And if you are so sure, why don’t you just force him to go? Why go through this stupid exercise of making him care about something?”

“Because it’s only when we care about something that we do our job well. We’ve sent Alphas below before.”

“How? I thought the tunnels were sealed off.”

“The main entrance to the tunnels is sealed, but we discovered a ventilation shaft, through which we were able to send them down with success. The Alphas found living amongst Ragers, or being torn apart by them, as the case may be, was more inviting than having to return to their cells. They had nothing to come back to.”

“I don’t want to be the reason Valdys risks his life for you.”

“You don’t have a choice. You already are.”

“So, why bother to impregnate me, then?”

“It’s what he wants. It’s what our species, as a whole, wants. To leave behind a legacy. To let the world know we were here and that we were seen.”

“Valdys wants a baby. I find that hard to believe.”

“Ask him, then.” Fingers crossed, he tips his head. “You’ve been primed to carry an Alpha’s baby. Either of the three, in case you need reminding of that. I’m just guessing you’d prefer to carry Valdys’s over the other two. Valdys is well aware of this fact, also. So, naturally, he’d want you to carry his baby.”

Chapter 23

I lie on the bed, tears streaming down my temples as the pain clenches over my womb, as though squeezing the very life right out of me. Pressing the pillow into my face, I do my best not to wake the other girls, who will surely have me sent down to the infirmary, where I’ll land on Doctor Tims’s table. I need this to end. I can’t bear the thought of this pain waking me every thirty minutes. The agony radiates over my belly and into my back, sending my hips forward, until my body forms an arc. Panting against the pillow, I breathe through it, but to no avail.

This must be what my mother felt when she described childbirth to me once. At the time, I thought death at the hands of Ragers sounded less painful.

Trembling like a leaf, I will myself to roll over, and fall over the edge of the bed. Skin smacking against the tiles, I’m certain I’ll wake the others, but I don’t. Reaching out, I pull myself along the floor, dragging my aching womb along the smooth surface that leaves a burn on my skin.

I need Valdys.

Once at the door of the barracks, I push to my feet, standing upright on legs that feel as if they’ll give out any second.

Outside the room, I hobble down the hallway, knowing there’s a guard at the end of the corridor. Keeping to the wall, I duck low, just out of the line of his flashlight when it sweeps over the window. Shaky breaths beat against my arm, propped against the handle of the door, while I sit poised to run at any moment. Closing my eyes, I count to ten, imagining him reaching the end of the hallway. Light at the other end of the corridor catches my attention. I have to time it right. One guard walks left. The other paces right.

Eight. Seven. Six. Five.

The lights at the opposite end become brighter.

Four. Three. Two. One.

As I push through the door, I just miss the arc of light sweeping over the far end window. I look to the right, where the guard hasn’t yet reached the end of the hallway. I have five seconds to make it twenty feet to the stairwell. Padding quickly toward it, I take light steps, and glance back only once, to be sure he hasn’t spotted me. Pushing through the door, I only just slip through before turning around to keep it from slamming shut.

Peering through the crack, I see the guard whistle, as he stops to check his watch and starts in my direction. An easy breath escapes me, and I slowly release the door with nothing more than a quiet click.

Down five flights, I round each landing, until I reach the last, where I bend forward, gripping the rail against the intensity of the pain that feels like a blade pushing through my flesh. Lips pinched, I don’t let so much as a whimper past my mouth, before continuing on. Finally reaching the basement level, I push through the door.

It’s then I realize this whole exercise is futile. I’ll never breach the locks to get inside Valdys’s cell. Still, I limp down the corridor toward his room.

Every door clangs along the way, flinching my muscles, as I rush to get to his cell.

“Valdys!” I slam my palm against the door. “Valdys it’s me!” Sliding the peephole to the side, I peer into the darkness. “I’m … I’m in so much pain,” I whisper, as if there’s anything he can do about it. Resting my forehead against the door, I grimace, while another wave moves through me.

When I look up again, he’s staring out at me, his stormy gray eyes like a sky full of clouds. He sets his fingers to the window, and I do the same, entwining my fingers into his. “I’m sorry this is happening to you.”

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