Page 43 of Calico Descending

“Alphas tend to be self-destructive in isolation. We’ve had a number of them commit suicide. Some allow themselves to be killed, either through punishment, starvation, or in training. Some escape during raids. Companionship and purpose have been shown to increase compliance. It is the deeply rooted human necessities that have proven to be most effective.”

I know this more than anyone. Having found out about my sister, I no longer have purpose, or reason. “You come from Szolen, right?”

“Yes.”

“Do you have a family?”

“I do. A wife and a son.”

“That’s why you do this? That’s your purpose for your little experiments on young girls. Savages.”

Lowering his gaze, he nods. “If I refuse, my wife and son will suffer.” When his eyes meet mine again, they carry the sadness of a man who might actually have a soul. “What horrible times we live in, when love is a curse that can be exploited for hate.”

It’s true. Every person I’ve loved, I’ve lost. And I fear what my sudden feelings for Valdys might mean for the both of us.

Doctor Ericsson sits across his desk from me, his pen furiously dancing across a sheet of paper. A minute later, he snaps the folder that’d been laid out before him closed, and a smile stretches his lips. “Well, how are you feeling right now?”

“Still queasy.” As promised, Doctor Tims provided a note, excusing me from the Alpha cells. At the very least, it’ll give me a couple of days to think about how I should approach Valdys. While I feel most safe with him, I can’t allow myself to play into this game, this cruel and wicked plot to use his feelings for me as a reason to sacrifice his life. To do their bidding at his expense.

“That’s a shame. Valdys has been quite anxious for you to return to his cell. In fact, he’s grown a little belligerent about it.”

“How so?”

“Refuses to eat. And we’ve had to subdue him twice in the last two days for lashing out.”

I recall Doctor Tims’ conversation about how they become suicidal without companionship. How sickening that would be if he hurt himself because I refused to see him. “It’s just a few days, I’m certain.”

“A few days,” he echoes, in a tone that sets me on edge. He tips his head back, nostrils flared, as though he can smell my lies on the air.

If it were possible, my stomach twists even more so.

“Did I ever show you what happened to Neela after her first encounter with Cadmus?”

I don’t want to know, but the consequence that shadows his words draws my curiosity, and I shake my head.

“Come with me.” Pushing up from his chair, he leads me out of his office, and down the hallway, passing rooms with large windows, where surgical procedures appear to be in progress, as the staff inside gather around beds shrouded in white sheets.

“We learned after her encounter that she had fallen into estrus. A mistake on our part, really. After the attack, she was mended and transferred to another room for observation.” He comes to a stop in front of a closed door, smiling as he twists the knob to open it.

A heady, sweet scent lingers on the air, strumming a chord of excitement inside me. My heart kicks up its pace, as we approach Neela, who lies still on a bed, a white strip of tape across her mouth, arms and legs strapped down by leather belts, and tubes sticking out of her flesh.

“We’d hoped to reintroduce her to Cadmus after she was healed and her estrus had subsided. Her stitches have been removed, but this is now day twenty-six.”

“Twenty-six days of estrus?”

He lifts a clipboard from the side of her bed and flips the page. “We’ve sedated her, but she wakes every thirty minutes, like clockwork, in excruciating pain.”

A pang strikes my stomach in this very moment, and I set a hand there, frowning down at her. “Why? What happened?”

“Science is approximate, at best. The human body is a very complex structure, and when you mess with it, well, it doesn’t always play by the rules of science. It seems the hormones produced during estrus are only balanced by the chemical reaction that happens when male sperm is introduced. Unfortunately, we didn’t learn this until it was too late.”

“Too late?”

He pulls back the sheet to reveal a round, bulbous lump in Neela’s gown, where her stomach would be.

“She’s pregnant?”

“No. That her womb has swollen into false pregnancy is the best explanation we have at the moment.”

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