Page 8 of All My Heart

Axel's face popped into my mind again. I rested back on the pillows. I heard pounding come from outside. I popped up to look out the window. The lights were on in the cabin next door, and I could see the outline of him working.

Was he planning to do some work on the cabin before he sold it to someone else? It was none of my business what he did while we were staying here. But I wasn't ready to let go of the fantasy of him.

I had a feeling he was going to get me through the next few weeks.

CHAPTER 3

AXEL

Sleep wasn't my friend. I couldn't seem to relax to get some rest. I had all this restless energy. I wanted to march right back over to Luna's cabin and show her how much I wanted her. Which was crazy because I wasn't sure she felt the same.

I was the worst kind of guy for perusing her naked body when she was unaware. I should be protecting people, not making them feel unsafe.

Most likely, I'd imagined the flicker of interest in her gaze after the fear and shock subsided.

I needed to focus on something else besides what my sexy neighbor was doing. Had she jumped in a hot shower after being outside in the cold? I forced myself to notice what was in front of me: the worn couch, the scuffed floors, and the dated kitchen.

I hadn't made any changes since I moved in. Even the furniture had been part of the sale, since they'd mainly used it as a rental cabin.

I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with the place: make it my permanent residence, rent it out to tourists, or even sell? Whatever I decided, I needed to make some updates. The least I could do was raise its value and my comfort level by doing some improvements. Right now, there was a wall blocking the view from the living room.

The entire space felt closed in and dark. After seeing the flash and spark of my neighbor, I wanted to let more light in.

I had some construction experience working with a buddy of mine, so I knew how to test if the wall was load bearing, and it wasn't. I could easily take out my frustration with a sledgehammer to the wall.

I told myself I was far enough away from Luna's place that I wouldn't disturb her, and even if I did, would she come over here to tell me to keep it down? My heart quickened at the thought.

I almost welcomed that challenge. I wanted to see her cheeks flushed, the memory of her naked body in my mind while she told me what was what.

I didn't even care what she'd say. I just wanted to kiss those plump lips and run my hands over her body. I wondered if she was wearing sweats, a T-shirt with nothing else underneath, or silky lingerie. I wanted to know what kind of woman she was.

I had a feeling she wore a T-shirt to bed. She seemed like an easy-going girl. Or maybe that was just because I'd met her when she was naked. She couldn't hide from me.

But I wanted to know more. I adjusted myself in my jeans, slipped on eye protection, and grabbed the hammer. I easily fell into a rhythm of swinging, making satisfying contact with the wall. Each thud felt better than the last.

Why hadn't I thought of this before? I loved moving my body, feeling the burn, and wiping the sweat from my forehead. Which only reminded me how much I wanted to get physical with Luna.

I wasn't sure why a woman was alone in a cabin in the woods. Was she running from something? A bad ex? Or something else?

I wanted to find out. That caused my skin to itch because I never cared about a woman beyond the physical.

After my mother died, and I saw what my dad went through, I vowed never to give my heart to anyone. I didn't want to be that torn up inside. I didn't want to worry about someone else because it sucked when something happened to them. It was difficult when you were the one left behind to pick up the pieces.

I'd enlisted to escape from it all: the obligation, the guilt, and the shame. In the military, no one knew me as the kid who'd lost his mother. I was anonymous, and I liked it that way. I could be someone else, and no one questioned me.

I portrayed the image of a strong loner. If they found out I'd grown up on a Christmas tree farm with a big loving family? I never would have heard the end of it.

I couldn't be myself, but that was okay. No one wanted to know the real Axel. I didn't even know who that guy was.

I kept my mouth shut, did what I was told, and worked hard. I'd become someone else. Someone reliable. I was a rock. But now that I was home, I didn't know who I was anymore. Was I the soldier? Was the Axel before Mom died still inside me somewhere?

I had a feeling someone like Luna would help me get to the bottom of it. But she was so sunny, so pure; I couldn't dirty her with my thoughts.

She was probably going through what she thought was a bad breakup. In a few weeks, she'd be gone, and I'd be alone again.

Unfortunately, that prospect didn't sound as satisfying as it did a few hours ago.

I lost myself in the steady rhythm of striking the wall. When I was finished, I hauled the debris outside. In the morning, I'd move it to the bed of my truck to haul to the dump. I was sweating, and my muscles were sore, but I felt good.