Page 70 of Close to My Heart

“What are we doing for dinner tonight?”

“Let’s grill out. Unless you’re tired of it.” A sense of contentment settled in my chest. Living with Sutton, working in the outdoors every day, and coming home to her was my new reality, and I loved it.

“I adore your new outdoor kitchen. Let’s do it. I’ll pick up some chicken and pineapple.”

“Sounds great.” It was nice to have someone to share my day and fall into bed with at the end of the night.

“See you at home,” Sutton said before she clicked off, and I wondered if we’d ever get to the point where she’d said she loved me when she hung up.

There was a feeling swelling in my chest, getting bigger each day. I tried to push it down, ignore it, tell myself it wasn’t time, it was too much too soon, but I couldn’t. I was going to tell her I loved her, and I just hoped she was ready for it when I did.

I issued a few citations, chatted with others about plans to stock the lake. Then I ate lunch on the water, remembering how we’d paddleboarded on my lake, wondering when we could do it again.

I was living my dream. I just needed to find a way to keep it.

The next few weeks were blissful. We woke up, showered, made love if we had time, cooked a quick breakfast together, then went our separate ways for work. We’d text and sometimes call during the day, touch base about dinner or our plans. Then meet at home at the end of the night to talk about our days. It was as close to perfection as I’d ever gotten.

The only thing that would make it better was if I could tell her how I felt. I was afraid that she didn’t feel the same way. That she’d agreed to a physical relationship because it was convenient.

It was Saturday, and I was helping Ryder move into a rental home. Faith was with him for the weekend, so I was excited to see both of them. When Ryder’s truck pulled up from Virginia, we were ready for them.

We carried boxes and furniture inside. I was expecting that there would be less, but it ended up taking the whole morning and into the afternoon. We ordered pizzas for lunch, then kept working. Sutton helped Faith set up her room. She was only going to be there sometimes because Ryder was planning to drive home most weekends.

Each time Sutton walked by, I’d touch her in some way, her hand or her shoulder, stealing a kiss if I could. It was fun and exhilarating. If my brothers noticed, they didn’t mention it.

By the end of the day, I was in Ryder’s new master bedroom helping him put together his bed.

“What’s going on?” Teddy asked as he leaned a shoulder against Ryder’s dresser.

Ryder moved the boards in place on the floor. “What do you mean?”

Teddy nodded toward the bed. “You’re moving a lot of stuff, and some of it’s new.”

Ryder sighed. “Stacy wants to use this time as a temporary separation.”

I grimaced, wishing Teddy hadn’t brought up what we were all thinking. Something wasn’t right about this move.

Teddy looked away. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.”

“Are you okay with that?” I asked, my blood running cold. Would there come a time when Sutton would want to do the same? I worried she’d wake up one day and decide the ruse was over. She didn’t need to be married anymore. Her obligation would be fulfilled and the estate hers.

Ryder sighed. “I don’t have much of a choice. This is what she wants.”

“How did this happen?” I asked him.

“We haven’t been happy for a while. But I was willing to stick it out for Faith. I don’t want to share custody with my daughter or be hours away from her. This move seemed to push all of our issues to the forefront. Stacy didn’t want to move with me. I didn’t want to commute. We were fighting more and more. When I was packing, she sat me down and said it would be a good time for us to see what we want.”

“What do you want?” I asked him.

He pursed his lips. “I want to be with my family.”

“Even if you’re not happy with Stacy?” Teddy asked.

We could all see it. The toll it had taken on Ryder to keep Stacy happy. To spend all his holidays with her family, to be isolated from ours.

Ryder’s jaw tightened as he knelt on the floor. “I don’t want to share time with my daughter.”

“I can understand that. We miss her too.”

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