Page 28 of Close to My Heart

SUTTON

Ever since I woke up in Wes’s arms after the incident with Harold at the bar, things between me and Wes felt different. There was this restlessness simmering just under the surface, and I couldn’t figure out why. Nothing had changed. I always called Wes when I was in a situation where I didn’t feel safe. Sleeping together might not have been the norm, but it felt right since we’d already shared a bed after my accident.

Now, I was being pressured by my mother to make a decision about marrying one of the guys I’d already seen. I didn’t like any of them. Some of them were nice enough. But how could I trust someone who’d agree to marry me in exchange for money?

It felt reckless. Wes worried about me, and I valued our friendship. I didn’t want to keep putting him in these positions where he had to rescue me.

I needed to figure this out on my own. I made a list of pros and cons for each guy I was considering. But at the end of the day, I didn’t trust any of them enough to marry them, even for a few months.

I was starting to feel a little desperate. I needed to marry someone, or I was losing the one thing that meant the most to me. I didn’t need a therapist to figure out that I’d latched onto the house and the property when my parents weren’t there for me. They’d always cared more about social status, parties, and money.

I was an afterthought growing up, which meant me spending more time with my grandmother. I thought we had a special relationship, and she knew how much I loved the house. Why would she put me in this position?

Maybe it was like Wes said: she wanted to control me. If that were true, maybe it was time for me to consider a life without the estate.

Where would I live, work? What would I do? For most of my adult life, I’d worked around the estate: giving tours, researching the history of the house and my family, and sharing my findings on my social media pages. I’d amassed quite a following, and they were clamoring for more. What would I do if I had to let that go?

I ran through the possible scenarios. I searched for jobs, not sure who would hire someone who’d never worked for someone else. I’d done unpaid internships and volunteer work in college, but I never had a career outside of working on the estate.

I’d allowed my family to take up too much space in my life, and faced with the possibility of losing the property, I wasn’t sure how I’d fill it.

The night of Wes’s sister Fiona’s wedding to Aiden, I met Wes at the Matthews Inn where the wedding was being held on the front porch. Despite the heaters that were set up outside, it was chilly.

Watching Fiona and Aiden’s heartfelt vows, I couldn’t help but think that I’d be getting married soon, but it wouldn’t feel the same.

I felt a pang for missing out on the love that Fiona and Aiden so clearly shared. But at the same time, I wasn’t sure I believed in a love like that. Especially not for someone like me, who’d grown up in a home that was devoid of emotion.

I curled my hand around Wes’s arm. No one thought anything of me attending the wedding. I was always his plus-one to family events because I was considered part of the family. It felt good, but I wanted to be here as more than just a friend.

Wes looked down at me and smiled, covering my hand with his own. It was sweet, and I felt a twinge in my stomach. If I married someone else, I’d miss out on these moments with Wes.

After the ceremony, we headed upstairs to the ballroom on the third floor. It had been beautifully restored after Marley’s grandmother died and she’d inherited the inn. Last year, Aiden retired from the military and came home to help her run it. When Fiona came home for the holidays, she rented a room in the inn, and she rekindled her relationship with Aiden. They’d dated in high school but broke up when Aiden enlisted.

I’d only heard bits and pieces, but their relationship sounded romantic. Especially when you considered the Matthews Inn and its gardens as the background at Christmas. Those two didn’t stand a chance. I wondered if I’d ever have the same magical story.

Would I meet someone who’d sweep me off my feet? Could it be someone I already dated? Or was he standing right in front of me?

We found our seats at a table with Wes’s brothers: Jameson, Ryder, and Teddy. Ryder’s daughter, Faith, was in attendance, and Jameson’s girlfriend, Claire.

Before dinner was served, I excused myself to go to the bathroom with Claire, but when I returned, the table had a different energy. It was almost as if they’d been talking about us when we were gone, but that didn’t make any sense.

Jameson and Claire had already gone through a difficult time when he’d lost his substitute teaching and football coach positions. They’d made up and moved on, seemingly creating a perfect family with Claire’s twelve-year-old son, Owen. I didn’t think Jameson would do anything to screw that up again. Unless he’d announced to his brothers that he was going to propose to her. It would make sense they’d have that conversation while Claire was gone.

I loved how close the Calloway brothers were. I’d always wanted to be part of a family like that, but I was relegated to being on the outside looking in. I’d only ever be Wes’s friend, not his significant other.

After we ate, the music started up, and one by one, couples headed toward the dance floor.

“Do you want to dance?” Wes asked.

“Sure.” I stood and accepted his hand.

On the dance floor, we easily fell into a rhythm, used to being each other’s plus-ones, whether it was a school dance or a wedding.

“When you get married, you won’t be my plus-one anymore.”

“I guess not.” I hated that idea.

“Have you figured out what you’re going to do?” His voice was carefully controlled as if he was braced for my response.

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