Page 25 of Golden Desires

“I understand,” I offer a sad smile. I don’t want to talk about any of my scars, either.

“Maybe we should bring the boys in here. I think they’re getting restless. Can you hear them pacing?” Alma offers, her tone teasing. A spark of excitement at seeing the Alphas has me grinning as I nod my head in agreement.

“How’s her injury?” Aldair asks, when the front door opens, as if we summoned him just by talking about them. Alma smiles like she expected him to appear the moment she mentioned inviting them inside.

“Healing quickly. Faster than I expected for a break.” She holds Aldair’s eye contact, giving him a look that I can’t interpret. “I think it was probably just sprained.”

“Oh.” He looks intrigued, as he stares at my arm. Cillian is pushing through the open door, and coming over to my side to check on me the second his brother is out of his way.

“I’m glad to hear you’re healing. Do you ladies want to explain?” Cillian asks, gesturing between the two of us, and Alma lifts a brow at him like she expects him to have all the answers already. “She’s your niece?” he prompts, of course, he heard as much when we were outside, but Alma still nods. “And the day you saved us was the last day you saw Goldie, the same day you left your old village?” Another nod from Alma. “Hmm,” Cillian grunts, before turning to me. “Are you feeling okay? I know this must have been a lot to take in.”

“I am. I’m just in shock, I think,” I say with an awkward laugh. “I never thought I’d see my Aunt Alma again,” I add, and Cillian smiles softly. Aunt Alma carries her supplies back to the small hutch near the fire to put away when Kylan walks in, keeping his head down as he joins us. I take a moment to observe the three of them now that I know a little more about their pasts.

These three Alphas were raised well, that much was already obvious, but now I know who raised them. The information changes so much about how I feel. I want to leave even less than I did before.

It’s obvious to me that Aldair is the oldest. The protector. The one that shoulders his family's burdens so they don’t have to. He enjoys his role as their guardian.

Cillian is clearly the middle brother. The playful, outgoing one. I get the sense there’s no line he wouldn’t cross for his family. He follows his older brother's lead and helps guide his little brother. I pity anyone who tried to come between Cillian and the ones he loves.

Then there’s Kylan. He’s a caretaker. The sweet and kind one. The most sheltered, probably because his older brothers have kept him out of danger his entire life. Right now he looks worried, maybe? I can’t read his body language well enough to know for sure, but it’s clear he’s unsure of his place. Either in his family, or just in this moment, I don’t know.

“You did an amazing job raising them,” I tell my aunt, who perks up at my words. “They’ve all been very kind.”

“Thank you, Goldie. It makes me glad that you think so.” She ruffles Cillian’s hair as she passes him. Alma knows the truth about how I ended up with them. It’s time I told them too, I think.

Getting a better understanding of how these men work together, how they care for each other and make their house a home, has me worried about where I might fit, though. My instincts tell me I belong in these Alpha’s lives, but I feel inadequate.

What value would I bring to any of them? I can’t cook, I’ve never built anything with my bare hands. I can clean, but that's something anyone can do. I have nothing worthwhile to offer any of them. I’m nothing but a–

“I don’t want to be a burden,” I say suddenly, the thoughts plaguing my mind slip from my lips. The four of them all look right at me and frown. Maybe they’re just as bothered by me, as I am. Maybe they already see me as a burden, in less than a full day.

“Why would you think you’re a burden?” Cillian asks gently, still kneeling beside me, but I’m already shaking my head, hating how emotional I’m being.

“I’ve always been a burden…” I whisper, feeling that emptiness in my chest like a void sucking me into the darkness. I’m not worthy of the life I’ve only just gotten a glimpse of.

Chapter Thirteen

Kylan

Silence settles around the room before my brothers and Ma move closer to soothe the vulnerable Omega.

Her words echo in my mind.

I’ve always been a burden…

Goldie sniffles as Ma steps to her side where she sits at the table and gently gathers her close. Because she’s so short, combined with the height of the chair, Goldie’s head rests on Ma’s shoulder. Cill runs a calming hand down the back of her head, while Aldair crouches down to her eye level.

I hold back my need to jump forward and comfort her. My brothers have always been the ones taking the lead. I follow them willingly, and without question because all my life, they’ve done nothing but try to protect and guide me.

At this moment, though, I feel inferior. It’s not the first time I’ve felt like this, but it is the first time it’s made me feel as if I’m watching them move on without me. I know they would never leave me behind…not unless they had no other choice. Because our mate will always take priority. Especially her safety.

I can’t help but envy the trust they have in themselves. They know they won't hurt her. That their connection to her doesn’t make them volatile. Cillian has this confidence that makes me wish I was more like him. He’s not even scared that she’ll reject him. Of course, Aldair probably hasn’t even considered rejection as a possible outcome. Why would he? He has so much to offer our Omega.

What do I offer any of them? Animal care… they’d be just fine without me. Especially now that they have Goldie.

My past just proves what a danger I am to the Omega. Ma learned that lesson in the worst way. She wears the proof of my inadequacy on her cheek.

Goldie’s fear of being a burden is something I understand on a deep level. The difference is that she could never be a burden to my brothers and me, but I’ve already shown them what a burden I am. Once Goldie learns the truth, she won’t want me.

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