Page 76 of The Keeper

“Not quite. Close though.” He stood up, helping me do the same. “Ready to head out?”

“Uh, no. I have questions.”

“I’m sure you do.”

“Sit.” I pointed to the bed. “Please.”

I gathered my thoughts while he did as I asked. Everything that’s happened since I stepped foot off the plane has been confusing to say the least. I’m not normally one for carefully laid out plans but this trip was the one exception. This was the one thing that had to follow the outline. There was no room for detours.

And yet, all I’ve encountered were detours.

“What happened with my mother?”

He lifted an eyebrow. “We had a chat. Lovely woman.”

“Lies.” I started pacing.

“Do you always do this,” he gestured his hand in a figure eight to illustrate my path around the room, “when you’re stressed?”

“Yep.” I stopped, putting my hands on my hips. “You’re deflecting, Maddox.”

“Possibly.”

“So what happened? Why did you tell her you were buying the house?”

He regarded me thoughtfully, taking his time before answering, “It’s the easiest way to give everyone what they want.”

“What we…“ I sputtered. “You have no idea what I want. What any of us wants.”

“I know what I want.”

“What does this have to do with you?” I snapped.

He winced at the nastiness in my tone, clasping his hands together. Unease and vulnerability seeped from him. Even though I didn’t know him well, I knew enough to recognize this was an emotion he’d rather not have me witness.

“You want to hold onto,” he spread his arms out, “this. As much as it hurts you, that’s what you want. Your mother wants it all to disappear. I want…” He swallowed. “I want there to be a reason for you to come back here. To come back to me.”

What the hell was happening? He looked so uncomfortable in his own skin I almost went over to comfort him. Almost. He wanted me to come back? I didn’t need this house for that. He was reason enough.

My heart fluttered.

He was more than reason enough. He was the reason. He saw me. He calmed me. He reached parts of me I believed were inaccessible. He was…

My mind raced, spiraling into its own sinister thoughts.

He’ll drop you the minute he finds out how worthless you really are. How broken you are. How messed up. How you get by every day hanging on by a string. Nobody wants to know the real you. They only want the version you show them.

Breathing became difficult.

My chest hurt. My lungs hurt. My heart hurt.

I’d worked myself into a panic. Pacing the room wasn’t enough.

A screw tightened somewhere deep in my chest. It ground into me tighter and tighter and….why is this silence so goddam loud?

Out.

OUT.

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