Page 117 of The Keeper

The world around me blurred and faded away. I felt myself slip down, only to be secured by the firm grasp of Xavier’s arm. One more firm press and my whole body undulated. He coaxed me through each wave of pleasure with his finger until I stopped quivering.

Then he turned me so I could watch him suck my climax off his fingers.

“I love the way you taste,” he moaned, then kissed me slow and deep. I clutched onto his shirt, pulling him as close as possible. We broke the kiss in a haze of damp breaths and languid stares.

“I really liked number three,” I whispered, kissing him again. “I liked how it felt.”

He squeezed his eyes shut, resting his forehead to mine. I couldn’t tell if I upset him or pleased him with my comment.

“I liked it, too,” he finally said, opening his eyes and stroking my jaw. “Are you okay to walk?”

I nodded and let him lead me to the couch. When I felt him sit next to me, I curled up in a cozy, kitten-like position with my head in his lap. He resumed his soothing caresses, running his palm over the curve of my backside and down to my upper thighs. This feeling almost made me dizzy. I felt intoxicated by comfort, by him, by his touch. There wasn’t room for my usual guilt or anxiety. There was only room to be present.

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m not sure I can pick just one word.”

“Pick as many as you need.”

I thought for a second before answering, “Relaxed for sure. Comfortable.” I looked up at him. “Closer to you.”

His shy smile and the way he bit down on his lip imprinted on my heart. “That might be the endorphins talking. The first time, even with something as light as what we did, can be powerful.”

“And if it’s not the endorphins?”

“Then it’s pretty obvious there is more than something casual between us.”

My heart twisted. “Is it?”

“Yes.” His hand settled over my heart. “I don’t feel casual about you at all.”

I sat up, tucking my legs under me to face him. His adoring expression made me think of long-term things. Serious relationship things. Forever things.

“I’m not prepared for more than casual.”

“Do you need to be?”

“You…I…if there’s anyone I should prepare for when it comes to this, it’s you.”

The remark winded him. He winced, not in pain but in shock. After a few seconds, he admitted, “Guess we’re both unprepared.”

He motioned for me to sit closer, so I curled up against him, nestling into his side. He draped an arm around my shoulders and kissed my forehead.

“Is this okay?” he asked.

“This is mild compared to some of the stuff we’ve done.”

Chuckling, he gave me a little squeeze which excited me and made me nervous simultaneously. I’m approaching a line I vowed never to cross. Giving my body to someone was easy. I could detach and enjoy the physical pleasure.

Giving my heart? I already felt like my chest cracked open enough for him to see my heart beating out in the open air. Exposed and messy.

But it’s him…

“Xavier?”

“Yes, love.”

“I don’t feel casual about you either.”

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