Page 150 of The Penalty

“I’ve been here quite a bit. Pretty much seen it.”

I fidgeted with my necklace. This sucked. Especially since I was the one who suggested we find time for a video chat this week.

Good job, Chase. Way to make this even more uncomfortable than it’s already been.

“So, um, what time is the game on Saturday?”

And the hits just keep on coming.

Uneasiness hissed through me, like a fire desperate to ignite. I couldn’t drag enough oxygen into my lungs. All the cells in my body trembled. Why is this so hard?

“Seven,” he responded, his tone flat. “Two your time.”

The screw tightened deep in my chest. Invisible waves of needles rolled beneath my skin. I inhaled slow, annoyed with myself. We’d slipped into this unfeeling, disconnected way of speaking so easily it tore me up.

“Christ,” Xavier muttered. “I can’t do the small talk thing with you anymore. It— fuck.”

A lump of emotion clogged my throat, threatening to suffocate me.

“I can’t either.” The words fought their way out. “I miss how we were before.”

“Before?” His strained repetition chilled me to the bone. “I see.”

I squeezed my eyes shut. “That’s not what I meant.” When I looked at him, his sultry mouth twisted into a frown. “I know I’ve been a little distant lately. It’s like a…I guess you could call it self preservation.”

The frown deepened, draining the light from his eyes. “What aren’t you saying, Tori?”

Struggling to say anything to him in this moment wrecked me. My entire professional career revolves around communication. Stay on message. Be direct. Shape public perception. But when it comes to Xavier, the more I surrender to my feelings for him, the more I falter.

Nothing will ever be broken between us.

“I just…” My lip trembled. A solitary tear rolled down my cheek. “I wish you were here.”

Some of the tension in his shoulders melted. “Me too, love.” He touched his neck, just below his left ear. A hard swallow expanded and contracted in his throat. “Cade says hello.”

A small smile tugged at my mouth. “Tell my favorite striker I miss him.”

“Do you have any big plans this week?”

“I’m having dinner with my dad tomorrow.”

Much to my surprise, curiosity and warmth pushed through the apprehension.

“You must be excited to see him.”

“I’m nervous. We haven’t seen or spoken to each other this much in years. It’s weird. And I have to bring up the whole…thing.”

Our silent stare completed what I left unsaid.

“Want me to be there with you?”

My heart nearly stopped. “You have a game. You can’t—”

“Tori.” His low timbre vibrated through me. “I meant a video call. Although I’m more than willing to fly there right now if you asked.”

I’m not a selfish person, but the temptation to have him abandon his responsibilities with England’s national team and fly here for me was powerful.

“What is it you soccer players say? For club and country? Your team needs you. Besides, I saw the pictures you posted on social media. Playing for your childhood hero looks good on you.”

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