Page 141 of The Penalty

I shifted on his lap to straddle him and laced my fingers behind his neck. A satisfied growl rumbled through his chest.

“You have no idea how much having you this close is helping,” he whispered, dragging his hands up my thighs until they rested on my waist. “Cade wanted to show off his new house so he invited basically everyone he knew over one weekend. The party was massive. Drinking, drugs, girls everywhere.”

“A lot of temptation for a group of young athletes.”

He nodded. “Too much. And we were more than willing to take advantage of it.”

I leaned back slightly, running my hands down his chest. “What happened?”

Anticipation filled the space between us.

“Millie and I weren’t technically together anymore at this point but we hung out at the party. I got drunk. She got drunk. We started messing around on the couch in front of everyone. After a bit, she didn’t feel comfortable and told me to stop, which I did. She excused herself to use the loo. I went to find Cade and ended up running into fucking McKennie.”

“He was there?”

“Yeah.” Bitterness coated his tone. “He made some vulgar remark about what I’d been doing with Millie on the couch. I almost punched him out but one of the lads from United walked over and Jordan left. I got wrapped up in a conversation. When I went back to the other room, she was gone.”

“Gone? Like, she left?”

“That’s the impression I got after asking around. A few people told me they saw her walk out. So, I stayed, hung out with Cade, had more drinks.” He looked away. “I was young and reckless and impulsive. I didn’t care about consequences. I let my selfish needs dictate my actions and— Cade and I flirted with these two girls. Things escalated and we all had sex.”

My eyes widened. “All four of you?”

“Yes. Well, not Cade and I but we shared the girls. It’s something we’ve done from time to time. In the middle of everything, Millie walked in. Turns out, she’d never left the party. She’d just gone outside with some friends.”

“Xavier,” I gasped. “Why did you do that?”

“Because I’m an arrogant asshole with the whole fucking world at my disposal.” A scowl marred his mouth. “I thought I was untouchable, that I could do anything I wanted. You want to know the best part?” Acid dripped from his words. “Jordan was the one who told her to come back inside. He’d seen what Cade and I were doing, and made sure Millie did, too.”

His grip on my waist tightened.

“After she ran out, he cornered me and said it was payback for shagging his fiancée.”

I needed a minute to collect my thoughts. When Jordan found me in Manhattan, he’d mentioned something about Xavier stealing his fiancée.

When I’d pressed Xavier about it the night we reunited on the terrace, he’d told me he messed around with her. Although, he’d positioned it as she was cheating on Jordan with him and another soccer player.

My brain shifted into work mode, more for self-preservation than anything else.

“Going back to what Jordan said about the public not knowing a lot about you. Is this all he meant? Or is there more?”

“My reputation is well-known.” Anger blazed behind his eyes. “I was sixteen when I entered this life. I worked hard. Nothing was handed to me. But after I signed my contract, something inside me became more,” he struggled to find the word, “aware, I guess you could say. I burned the candle at both ends, never caring about any ramifications because there weren’t any.”

“Did it ever affect your ability to play the game?”

His dismissive laugh hung in the room. “No. I was good at keeping up appearances. But after what happened with Millie I sort of…I spiraled. I sought revenge on Jordan at every turn and became even more reckless. Bennet was always the one to clean up any messes in the media but things were slipping. I had more paparazzi on me. Not to mention anyone with a mobile phone who felt like recording a video or taking a picture. I couldn’t control what was happening. Bennet finally reached his limit. He told me to get my shit together or he’d sell my contract to another club so I’d become someone else’s problem.”

My heart broke. “Why even—”

Something vibrated beneath me. Xavier shoved his hand in his pocket and grabbed his phone. He swore under his breath.

“What happened?”

“Nothing. Just...nothing.”

“Xavier.” I held his chin when he looked away. “Tell me.”

He sighed. “Remember the woman on the sideline after the match in Paris?”

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