Page 10 of The Penalty

“Okay. I’ll ask it a different way. How does not being there for her after making this emotional discovery together keep her safe?”

Fucking hell. Why doesn’t he just draw and quarter me? It would have the same damn effect. I could barely find a breath before I answered.

“It just does.”

I always assumed therapists were supposed to be good at keeping their frustrations hidden when patients stonewall them. Not this guy. His eyebrows shot up.

“The anger living in here,” he pointed to his chest, “will only worsen if you continue to suppress it.”

Not after I bury my fists in that low life’s face.

“It won’t.”

“It will.” He looked at me over the rim of his glasses. “You carry around this anger like some badge of honor. Anger only lasts for so long. After that, it becomes something more dangerous. Rage. And rage will make you careless.”

“Reckless,” I said aloud without thinking.

“Yes,” he responded. “Holding anger is like a poison. It destroys from within.”

My shoulders slumped enough for him to notice he’d broken through a little.

More notes on the page.

More tapping of the pen.

More thoughtful stares.

“Have you ever really stopped to process what it is that makes you this angry?”

Lancing pain throbbed behind my eye, making it twitch.

You’re nothing.

“No.”

I braced for another long-winded response. All I got was a hard stare and a quick nod.

“Have you always been this protective with your girlfriends?”

I flinched. “I haven’t had many girlfriends. Just casual hook ups.”

“But you did date someone long-term while in your twenties. Six months? Is that correct?”

“Don’t really see the point in bringing that up.”

“You don’t talk about it much,” he challenged. “You’ve only alluded to making mistakes and letting your reckless decisions cause someone harm. Did she get hurt in some way?”

If this fucking guy keeps pushing me…

“I’m not talking about it.”

“Holding it—”

“Fuck off,” I shouted. The echo of my outburst lingered in the room.

Dr. Frances observed me for a few seconds. It was brief, but long enough for the quiet to suffocate me.

“Are you still doing what I suggested at the gym?”

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