Page 18 of Complete Me

“I was not!” Sweet Jesus. “Ever.”

“Thank god.” Erik leans down and kisses the top of Jules’ head before tucking himself in behind him on the sofa. “Because I love you, man, but I don’t need to hear that kind of thing from my older brother.”

Gunnar seizes his opportunity like all youngest siblings do. “So I can tell you about my Grindr adventures?”

Erik mock-glares at Gunnar. “Absolutely not. I don’t want to hear about any siblings’ hookups. Period.”

Jocelin turns to face Gunnar. “Wait, you have Grindr adventures? What kind of Grindr adventures? How old are these adventures?” We can all see the potential disaster in the making and rush to assure Jocelin that there are no Grindr adventures.

Gunnar ignores the rest of us, taking Jocelin’s hands in his, reassuring him in several different ways that it’s been years since there were any hookups of any kind that didn’t involve Jocelin, and it’s at that point that I stop listening. I certainly don’t need to hear about any of their antics.

I squeeze Jules’ arm. “Thank you.”

“For what?” He looks genuinely unsure why I’m thanking him.

“For distracting me. And getting me out of my head. For letting me talk about Kaino and Xander.”

Jules grins. “That’s what family does. And you should totally call them both. See if it leads anywhere.” He waggles his eyebrows again. “You never know.”

8

Kaino

The jostling flow of students through the corridor thins, thank god. Perhaps two more minutes, and there will be enough room to walk down the hall without feeling like a pinball in one of those old arcade machines. Given my choice, I’d‘ve stayed in the room after my client’s class was over, at least until the worst of the crowds had passed, but there’s another class in that room immediately after, so it’s not an option.

I’m about to push out of the small alcove I’ve taken refuge in when my phone buzzes. Xander’s name appears on the screen, and my heart races. I tap open the message.

Xander: Just leaving class. Coffee?

We’ve had coffee two weeks in a row. This would be the third, and I’m not sure how I feel about saying yes. I want to, because, regardless of my desire to reconnect with Bjorn, we haven’t yet. And the more I get to know Xander, the more I like him as a person. And if I’m honest with myself, the more attractive I find him. But I still can’t figure out why he keeps asking to go for coffee. At first, I thought he was hitting on me. But during our first meetup, we discussed English literature, mostly focused on the Romantic period. He never asked me out or made any kind of move. Which I was happy about at the time.

When he contacted me again last week, and I agreed to meet for coffee, I was expecting some clarification on what he wants this thing between us to be. Not that I’m ready to move from friends to dating, but does he consider us friends? Are we still acquaintances? But there was no clarification.

Instead, Xander surprised me with a very thorough critique of a graduate student chamber music performance he’d attended the night before, and I thought maybe that was an indication that he just wanted to be friends. But he was very attentive and bought our coffees. While neither of those is particularly romantic, the vibe was date-like. Staring at my phone, I wonder if I should reply. I’m still not sure I want to make this meetup a weekly habit, and I hate this kind of relationship ambiguity. I raise my phone, about to decline, when another text comes through.

Xander: Bjorn’s near campus and wants to join us

Xander: He says you texted about this

Xander: You available?

My heart thumps in my chest as I reread the text. It’s been three weeks since I visited Bjorn in the hospital, and in that time, I’ve only had the one text exchange with him. Neither of us has reached out to the other since, and I assumed it meant he changed his mind about joining us for coffee and he’s moved on. I figured I should do the same. Not that I’ve been successful at that. And now he says he wants to join us for coffee? Or did he want to join Xander for coffee, and I’m part of the deal because Xander already invited me?

Me: You don’t need a third wheel

Me: Maybe next week

His response is almost immediate, as if he were expecting me to say that.

Xander: He specifically wants to see us both

Xander: I told him we were having coffee and he asked if he could join us

Xander: Then he sent this

Xander: sad puppy gif

Xander: good boy gif

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