Page 30 of Wildcat

Hearing the doorbells chiming, I walk to the front of the building to see Taz waddling in. She’s got a bag in one hand and her oversized purse in the other, while her pregnant tummy is sticking out in front of her. With her rainbow hair and all her crystals, she’s such a sight to see. So truly unique you have to love her and her free spirit.

‘What the hell are you doing here, Taz? Thought the doc said you were to take it easy, feet up? Please tell me you didn’t drive yourself.”

“Well, hello to you too, Rebel. Nice way to greet your best friend and godchild who’s not here yet. Crap, thought I’d catch a break at least here. Want to use the meditation room to manifest my baby being born, maybe then the little one will come finally.”

Smiling, I walk toward her, grabbing the bag. It’s pretty heavy, and before looking in it, I know it’s filled with her crystals and other shit. I don’t understand any of the crystal stuff or the meanings, but I love her so much, I try to respect her ways. I noticed her face is flushed so when she tries to grab her belly in a sneaky way that I wouldn’t think anything of it, my gut tightens.

“Fuck, Taz! Sister, are you in labor?”

Her head flings up and, by the look in those big, beautiful eyes, I don’t need a verbal answer from her. Reaching for my phone, I go to text Enforcer when suddenly my phone goes flying from her hitting it out of my hand.

“What in the ever-lovin’ fuck, Taz? We need to let people know so you can go to the hospital.”

“No, Rebel, you are going to help me set up the meditation room so I can have my baby here in serenity and peace. I don’t want the sterile environment of a hospital welcoming my baby. It’s bad vibes, and you know that means the world to me. This baby needs to come into the world naturally, without strangers all around.”

Is she goddamn nuts? For Pete’s sake she’s been ranting about having the baby in a bathtub. Enforcer is totally against it. Oh shit, what the fuck? Did she come here to try and drag that steel tub we use for cryotherapy from the back to have her baby in? And then what… after she kills herself dragging it into her meditation room, then she tries to fill it between contractions? Then, I guess, soak for a bit, and I don’t know, push out her goddamn baby with no pain meds by herself. HERE. In my gym, while it’s open and folks are working out or taking classes. Holy shit, no way in God’s name is that happening here. I’m no doula, which is what Taz looked for but couldn’t find in Bumfuck, Montana. I can’t handle this, no way. What if something goes wrong? Oh God, that would kill me if something happened to Taz or the lil’ peanut.

“Taz, no way in hell am I letting you do this. It’s not safe or even sterile here. That baby needs to be given the best chance when it’s born. Think, sister, we can take some of your crystal shit to the hospital.”

Before she can reply, she leans forward then doubles over, letting out a loud groan of pain. I mean, it sounds like she’s in intense pain. Shit, she’s not just going into labor; she’s having full-blown contractions. Since I’ve been her second coach in the Lamaze classes, I know we need to get her to try and relax and breathe through each contraction. We have to time how far apart they are too. First, I need to know how she got here.

“How the hell did you get here, Taz? If you tell me you drove yourself, when you’re done giving birth to my godchild I’m gonna kick your ass before I kill you. Jesus Christ, what are you thinking?”

She starts to giggle then, holy shit, lets out a loud as fuck fart and doubles over again. The stench is killing me, though I’m trying to be a good best friend and not to say anything.

“Damn, Travis is right, those pregnancy farts really stink. Shit, Rebel it hurts so frigging bad. Damn, how did I do this with Teddy? I can’t remember everything but I don’t think it was this bad, though I had drugs back then.”

I know we’re in trouble because she doesn’t swear all that often. I grab her arm and walk her to the room in question. Off to the one side is a smaller room for massage. I turn the light on, pull the weighted blanket off the table, grab a sheet, flip it open and on the bed, then lower it as far as it will go. I grab her purse, throwing it on the floor next to her bag of crystals. She waddles to me trying to bend for that bag.

“What do you want, Taz? Need you to get on that bed now.”

“No, I want a water birth, you know that. It’s better and more relaxing for me and the baby. Travis is against it, but that’s what I want. Oh, forgot to tell you I didn’t drive here, I called an Uber.”

I knew bringing that modern-ass shit to our town was gonna cause trouble, though it helps folks make a living, sort of. Whoever picked up Taz doesn’t have a clue how much trouble they are going to be in. Enforcer is gonna lose his fucking mind. And whoever was supposed to be on Taz duty will be getting an ass kicking from me. Told Tink that shit wouldn’t work. We should have put both pregnant sisters together in a safe room. Don’t care how crazy that sounds, at least we’d have eyes on them twenty-four seven.

Looking up, I see my bestie watching me with sweat on her forehead. She’s pulling her rainbow hair up with a scrunchy. Damn, why can’t I tell her no?

“Swear to Christ, Taz, you’re lucky I love your rainbow ass. I’ll go grab that big metal pool thing we use out in the back room. Gonna take me a minute or two so just breathe and try to relax. Oh yeah, text your ol’ man and tell him what’s going on right now.”

With that I walk out, leaving the door open. When out of sight, I start to jog while pulling my phone out. I text Tink, Shadow, and Glory with a SOS then the words “Taz is in heavy labor at our gym. Need HELP.”

Not paying attention, I plow into something hard and extremely huge. I drop my phone and when I go to reach down for it, my head hits something that feels like either a large boulder or maybe a bowling ball. It literally knocks me to my knees as I hear a deep gravelly voice saying, “What the motherfucking shit? Damn, woman, watch where you’re going. Oh shit, are you okay? Hey, can you hear me?”

Trying to open my eyes, I feel like I was hit by a frigging freight train. Slowly I pry my eyelids up and see the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen in a scowl that makes Enforcer’s and Shadow’s look like a grin. Dark brown hair with just a slight scattering of gray at the sides. Those eyes are like a caramel with rings of gold and green around the pupils. He's leaning over me, literally shaking me by the shoulders.

“Hey, you trying to finish the job, you asshole? Never heard of Shaken Adult Syndrome. Let go of me before I seriously hurt you. I said, get your hands off me.”

He leans his ass onto his calves, never taking his eyes off me, though with my words a sexy grin appears on his face as his eyes sparkle. Oh, one of those types. Just what I need, a confident, built, hot motherfucker in my gym. I don’t recognize him, but kind of remember my part-timer telling me we had a hottie join the club. This must be him. Great way to meet, though he’s good on my eyes, for sure.

“Just checking to make sure you’re okay. Took a pretty bad hit when we knocked heads.”

“No, you mean when not only did you plow into me, but instead of stepping back, you rammed me with that enormous ninepin you call a head.”

His face tightens as his eyes narrow at me. Whatever. Just as I remember my sister, Taz, and what I was about to do I hear tiny footsteps coming our way. Before I can turn my head, I hear the Mickey Mouse voices of young children.

“Daddy, hurry a lawy is in pwain. Get your bag and come width us.”

“Yeah, Dad, she’s in labor, I think. Looks like she peed herself, I told these two to find you so I could stay with her, but they were fascinated with her hair, which looks like a rainbow.”

---