Page 1 of Damian

Chapter 1

Damian

Forty years ago

“There’s no greater heartache than the ache of hearing your mate’s call to have it snuffed out without warning.” ~Damian

“Which one of us do you think will lose his balls to a heifer first?” Jayce questions with jest in his tone, but underneath, the longing is unmistakable. We laugh, but there’s a seriousness behind our banter.

It matters not that we’ve only recently become adults. We may bust each other’s balls over who’s going to hear our heifer’s mating call first, yet we all desire to find our one and only more than our next breath.

Nikolaos bounces a ball against the wall of our favorite hideout in Chackbay. It’s an old, abandoned shack that he swears he’ll turn into a bar one day.

I try imagining a time when the outside of this old girl, as we like to call her, looked vibrant. I see only faded boards and peeled paint—no matter how much I try visualizing something else.

The wooden floorboards we’re standing on creak beneath our feet with the slightest movement.

The amount of grime covering the windows keeps the sunlight from shining through.

Dust-covered tables and chairs lay scattered about, and cobwebs hang from the rafters above. I’m glad that I don’t have a fear of spiders.

Nikolaos can’t contain his hunger to make something out of the old girl whenever we visit her. “Can’t you feel the charm in this place? The untapped potential waiting for me to unleash it. Everyone from the herd and other herds will come here to unwind, have a burger and a beer, or shoot some pool.”

Our patérs are pressuring each of us to pick our first careers. With our studies over, we must decide if we’re going to further our education or work. “Do whatever makes your heart happy. You don’t have to earn a million dollars, but you can’t sit on your ass and watch your life pass by.” My patér’s been saying this to me every evening over dinner for the last two years.

In our herd, living a life that brings joy and not one that adds to the stresses beyond our control is always our dream. The members of our herd will do anything to support us and make sure we never settle out of some misguided sense of duty to the herd or our mate or our children.

There’s a fine line between living a completely selfish lifestyle and prioritizing self-care so that you have all the tools needed to take care of those you love.

It’s why even though I roll my eyes over Nikolaos’ dream about a bar in a run-down hole, I know we’ll help make it happen for him.

No dream is ridiculous or impossible because I have my cousins, Anjal, Nikolaos, and Jayce, by my side. Not to mention my dozen sisters and parents.

Lucky me. I’m one of thirteen. And I’m literally smack dab in the middle with six older sisters and six younger sisters.

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.

Mate, my bull chimes in.

Like I don’t know what that burning urge is churning in my soul.

Not sure why I’m embarrassed. Maybe I’m not ready to hear my cousins make fun of the Fates’ gift to me. I sneak out the door without saying goodbye.

I slip my helmet on and start my Suzuki Katana. It’s terribly uncomfortable for the long journey that I might endure to find her. Leaning forward for hours toward my destination will leave me with a backache, or maybe I’ll get lucky and she’s not far.

Tick-tock. Tick-tock.

“I’m coming, mate. I’m coming,” I say on the wind as the beating chimes grow louder the closer I get. What does she look like? How old is she?

The possibilities play in an endless loop for hours as I drive toward her call.

I pull over to pee only when the pain in my bladder becomes greater than my need to get to her.

With my dick in my hand, mid-stream, our tether snaps. The force of the sudden disappearance of her need for me knocks me off my feet.

I’m frozen in time. My agony at her loss transcends this physical realm and pierces my soul.

The air around me presses in on me. I’m suffocating. Waves of anguish crash over me like a relentless tide.

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