Page 4 of Jayce

She finishes up my vitals, hands me a paper gown, and walks out of the room. She definitely wins no awards for personality.

I slip out of my clothes into the offensive paper gown. I stare at the steel tray with lube, long Q-Tips, and a speculum. My stomach churns. I may just vomit.

Should I tell the doctor what I’ve experienced first or wait because maybe I’m broken, and she’ll notice it right away when she’s down there?

“Good afternoon, Ms. Martin. How are you today?” Dr. Rayne asks the second she walks through the door.

“Considering it hurts to have sex, and I’ve never had that speculum device shoved into my vagina, I’m peachy.” The words vomited from my mouth before I could stop them.

Dr. Rayne rolls the stool over and takes a seat. “Tell me more about this pain during sex.”

I give this stranger my entire sexual history.

The nurse without the bedside manner comes into the room halfway through my nightmare.

My story exhausted me. I’m going to need a nap when I slink from this room.

“Let’s see what’s going on. Put your feet in the stirrups and lay back.” Great, she’s just jumping right in. No sweet talk or anything.

I rest my heels in the holes, and Dr. Rayne lifts the sheets. “I’m going to tell you everything I’m doing before I do it. Okay?”

I nod my head even though she can’t see it from the view she has.

“I’m just going to look first before anything else.”

The gloves snap on her wrist and my spine shivers. “I’m moving your folds with my fingers. I’m not inserting anything yet.

“Hm, I can see your vagina.”

Okay, are you not supposed to see it? I’m afraid to ask and sound like an idiot.

She slides over to look me in the eye. “The top of your vagina is prolapsed. That means it’s sagging and falling into the vaginal canal.

I don’t really understand, but I’m not even sure what to ask. “What causes this?” spills out.

“Pregnancy sometimes, being overweight are a couple causes, but the truth is it could be many things.”

“I’ve never been pregnant or heavy. Is it fixable?”

Dr. Rayne nods her head. “Surgery is an option, but I never like to recommend the knife without trying other less invasive means.”

“Like what?”

“Have you heard of pelvic floor therapy?”

I shake my head.

“Basically, it’s physical therapy that may put your vagina back in place.”

“And this is why it hurts to have sex?”

“Definitely.” She nods. “I can refer you to someone in the area.”

What the frick? Yep, I’m going to have a potty mouth before this is all said and done. Vagina physical therapy. Is that really a thing?

I barely process the rest of the exam or the many questions about my cycles, my bladder habits, and my bowel movements.

Is there really hope that I could experience pain-free sex?

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