Page 3 of Brightness

I need to get away. Their PDA only makes my desire to go to Ivy even more fucking intense.

But Ivy’s with Dash.

Their relationship is developing into something I don’t even want to fucking comprehend. The thought of him being with her makes my muscles tense so damn tight, it’s like I’m being electrocuted.

Pulling open the refrigerator, I stare aimlessly inside.

I don’t even know what I’m searching for.

A cure for my sins.

An answer to life’s problems.

Fuck! I’d happily take a punch to the head to knock me the fuck out right about now. That’d ease my mind.

“Void… you wanna tell me what’s so fucking interesting in the fridge?” Nycto calls out from behind me.

He startles me, and I turn quickly, slamming the refrigerator closed so hard it rocks with the force. I’m angry, but not at him. I fold my arms over my chest, scowling in contempt at myself more than anything else. Then I can’t help the word vomit erupting from my mouth. “Why the fuck is Dash helping Ivy? I thought he was learning to be a mechanic, not a fucking weed horticulturist.”

Nycto’s face lightens a little, like he’s amused by my outburst. “You done?”

I glare, seeing red. “Am I done? No, I am not fucking done! I don’t understand why she’s always fucking laughing at his lame attempts at humor. He’s a fucking kid.”

“Mm-hmm… anything else?”

I throw my hands in the air, frustration overwhelming me. “As a matter of fact, yes. Dash is trouble. We gotta kick him out. He doesn’t deserve a patch. I won’t vote yes at the table, so he may as well leave now.”

Nycto shakes his head, but looking at his closed fists, I see the anger building inside him. “You’re done. Dash is due his patch. I get that the table has to be unanimous, but the kid has earned it. He took a fucking bullet in the bar brawl when Spark got himself in trouble. Kid’s got balls. We need brothers like him.”

With a huff, I turn and start pacing. “Don’t care.”

“This isn’t about Dash at all, is it?”

I stall, glaring at Nycto. “The fuck it isn’t—”

“Then what’s your fucking reasoning? All I can see is jealousy.” A groan of frustration leaves my mouth as I restart my rapid pacing. “You can’t deny the man a patch because he’s spending time with Ivy.”

“I don’t have to stand here listening to this bullshit from you, of all people.” I turn to storm off, shaking my head in irritation.

Nycto reaches out, grabs me by my shirt, and forces me back against the refrigerator, his eyes meeting mine dead-on. “Remember who your president is.” He shoves me forcefully as he exhales, and I run a hand through my hair. “Void, it’s time to pull your fucking head out of your ass. I get you have issues. Hell, I, of all people, understand that shit. But, brother… if you’re infatuated with Ivy, then you need to stop avoiding her. Spend some damn time with her. You were in a better place when you did.”

My face scrunches in confusion. “She’s still a fucking virgin, Nycto. She’s too pure for someone fucked-up like me.”

“Yeah, she is, but she’s also strong, sassy, and so full of fucking fight and fire. She handles anything thrown at her. Fuck, brother, she’s helping us grow weed. The woman lives in an underground bunker with a room full of dying and decaying bodies next to her, knowing and willingly… including Andrés’s rotting corpse, which she bricked behind the wall without batting a damn eyelid. She’s not pure and virtuous… you’re making her that way in your head.”

He’s right. I know he is.

I huff because it doesn’t change anything. But still, I have to ask. “What if I’m too late? What if the kid’s made his move?”

“There’s only one way to find out, you fuckin’ idiot.”

Indecision crosses my mind, but if I stand around waiting and let Dash win Ivy over without me trying everything I can, then I only have myself to blame. There’s no doubt Ivy and I have a connection. We have ever since the night I took her from the boat. She saw something in me, and she worked damn hard to get me to break out of my shell.

She was fighting for me. Now I need to do the same for her.

As I walk past Nycto, he slaps me on the shoulder. “Go get your girl, brother.”

“Gonna try. It’s time for me to find out if Ivy is pure or poisonous.”

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