Page 48 of Brightness

Having Void there observing me only made me want him more. The fact Void accepts I can be sweet Ivy and poisonous Ivy means more to me than I can even comprehend.

I wish he would open up to me about his past.

We’ve established we have a safe space when we’re together, even if we sometimes fuck it up. I want to understand more about him. Void means the world to me. He’s been my rock since I arrived, and I wish he would lean on me as I do him.

“You’re deep in thought.” Void sighs, looking across at me as we sit on the sofa watching Chicago P.D.

With a deep inhale, I blink a few times. “Am I?” My voice goes higher at the end.

Real convincing there, Ivy.

“You’ve been quiet since we got back.”

I sit up taller and give him a small smile. “Just reliving riding your bike for the first time.”

“You sure that’s all? ’Cause I thought it would make you happy, but you look… pensive?”

“Pensive, hey? Didn’t think you’d know how to use a big word like that.” I try to hold in my laugh, but when he scowls, it hits me, along with the soft plush of a cushion. I giggle, deflecting it, then lay my head on his lap. “I’m good. Just thinking about things.”

Void’s fingers come out to tenderly stroke my hair. “Like what?”

I sigh. “My place in this club.”

His fingers stop in my hair, his body tensing under me. “What do you mean?”

“I dunno… maybe I’m coasting.”

He doesn’t reply, but he inhales sharply. I turn to peek up at him, his complexion turning pale.

I bolt upright, frowning at him. “Void?”

“Y-you wanna leave the club?”

I gasp. “No! Shit, no! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”

He lets out the breath he was holding. “Shit, Ivy! Then what the hell do you mean?”

I smile weakly. Void wraps his arm around me, his cheek resting on my head.

“I mean, I feel like I should be doing more. I want to be more a part of the club. Do more for it. Riding Reva today made me so freaking happy, so damn excited, that I felt like a part of myself was forming. Hell, I can’t tell if I’m making any kind of sense right now.”

Void pulls me closer. “I understand completely. I know the feeling all too well. The first time I rode a bike, something clicked inside me too.” He pauses to press a kiss to the top of my head. “Let me talk to Nycto. You’re already running the crops and maintaining the Chamber. I’m not sure what else we can have you do when you’re not a patched member, but I will try.”

I gnaw on my bottom lip, warmth flooding through me. I’ve never been more excited at the prospect of finding my place here. I thought I’d found it, but I want more. I don’t exactly know what “more” is, but after taking that next step and riding today, I have a buzz, a thrill for this life. I want to live like Defiance does. I want to feel the rush of everything they conquer. I just don’t know how that can even happen.

As I snuggle into Void, loving the fact he’s going to check into it for me, I hear footsteps pounding outside the Cell. I peek up as Dash walks in. His eyes are bright when he spots me, but they dim when he sees me wrapped up in Void. He clears his throat, glancing at the television as if to appear uninterested. “It’s time to cultivate, if you’re up for it?”

Void groans as I detach from him. I plant a small kiss on Void’s cheek, then stand, walk out of the Cell toward Dash, and we head for the crops. Contentment swarms through me when Void stays put in my room, obviously waiting for me to come back later.

“So, is this a new thing? You and Void?” Dash asks, his voice sounding somewhat forlorn as we enter the crop area.

“Kind of… the kissing is new.”

Dash scrunches up his face, and he’s definitely coming across a little jealous. Still, I don’t know what to say to alleviate his concerns.

We get to work, starting the process of harvesting the mature plants. I keep to myself while pondering Dash’s actions. I can’t understand why he’s envious of Void. Before coming to the club, I’ve never had a guy jealous over me before. Yet I can’t ignore the definite tension in the air as Dash keeps to himself on the other side of the room.

Actually, I’m a little deflated that my friend is keeping me at arm’s length when we’ve been nothing but good pals up to this point.

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