Page 61 of Darkness

“Right. So keeping me from Ivy when she’s in the same place as me and making me think she’s being forced into prostitution somewhere is keeping me happy?”

Trixie dips her head. “True, his methods aren’t always flawless. He’s a damaged man. Honestly, Eva, all he wanted was to have you to himself for as long as possible. He knew the second you were reunited with Ivy, you’d want to either leave with her, which would put yourselves and the club in danger, or you’d want to spend all your time with her. Neither option was okay with him. All he wanted was you.”

Letting that sink in, I exhale. “While I guess it is kind of sweet, it’s also fucking selfish. He let me continue to think Ivy was out there being hurt. He knew I was struggling. The thought of what was happening to Ivy was killing me constantly.”

“Trust me, Nycto was struggling too. He wanted to tell you time and time again, but the further it went on, the harder it got. He was afraid to lose you. He adores you, Eva.”

“He lied to me. He made Ivy lie to me.”

Trixie sighs. “Ivy thought it was for the best too. Everyone shares equal blame in this.”

When I look into her eyes, I don’t see deceit. I believe her.

“Did everyone at the club know what was going on? That Nycto was hiding me in his room and Ivy downstairs?”

“Yes… we knew because having you both at the clubhouse puts us all in danger. Nycto stole you, Eva, not from your lives but from the people who buy people and have them kidnapped off the street. You’re nothing but flesh to them, and they needed to be compensated for the loss of their goods. If Nycto couldn’t compensate them for you both, then he would most definitely have been in trouble… and that burden weighs heavily on him. He won’t only be in deep shit with all the brothers here, but the rest of the Defiance brothers will come after him for putting his issues back on the club. He’ll be in for a world of hurt, Eva, if this gets found out by the wrong people.” She grimaces. “I honestly don’t think you’re truly gripping the seriousness of the situation.”

A knot forms in my stomach. “Would they k-kill him? For taking us?”

Trixie raises her brow. “Depends on who we’re talking about. The club? Possibly, but they’re more likely to keep their punishments in-house. Your buyers? Definitely. Not only him, but everyone in the clubhouse as well, then take you and Ivy and any women and children just for funsies. God only knows what they’d do to you… to us all.”

“So, Nycto took us both with the understanding this was the possible outcome?”

She licks her lips. “Nycto took you knowing this was the outcome. Then you changed the benchmark by demanding your sister go too. He had no idea what he was doing when he took you, so when your sister was included, there were no plans in place. He winged it every step of the way.”

“I still don’t understand why he kept us apart.”

Trixie sighs. “He may not have gone about it the right way, but Eva, Nycto likes you. This was his way of showing you that.”

Something flows through me. I’m not sure what. Sadness for Nycto that he was raised in such a fucked-up environment that the only way he knows how to show true emotion is so incredibly wrong. Or is it an underlying feeling that I should forgive him because he’s so damaged, and he thought he was doing the right thing?

I shouldn’t roll over, of that, I am sure.

He hurt me, whether he was trying to spend time with me in the only fucked-up way he knew how or not. It doesn’t excuse the fact he hid my sister from me and lied about her to my face.

“I don’t know how to trust him. How can I believe anything he says?”

Trixie shrugs. “Let him show you in his actions. Let him, Eva. In all my time here, I’ve never seen the president behave with anyone the way he does with you. The way his face lights up when he says your name. You’ve woken something inside him that I’m not sure any of us even knew was there. So, thank you… for turning him into someone bearable.”

I let out a small laugh. How do I answer that?

After Nycto opened up to me, told me his story, I can only imagine the sort of hell he went through as a kid. I bet it didn’t even scratch the surface as to what he really went through with those boys in that godforsaken home. All I know is I don’t want to be another reason he falls off the deep end.

Maybe I need to go back in, talk this out with them.

Maybe I need to stop wallowing in their selfishness and try to hold onto whatever good they were trying to accomplish.

“Thanks for coming to find me, Trix. I was falling apart before you arrived.”

She pulls me to her for a long hug. “Nycto and Ivy were so busy arguing over who should follow you that I stormed out, saying neither of them should. It would only make the situation worse. They both adore you, Eva. They only want what’s right for you, even if they both show it in a roundabout way.”

I pull back from her embrace, understanding where she’s coming from. I don’t have to like it, but I understand. “Okay… let’s go back in and face the music.”

Trixie stands and holds out her small hand to me, and I take it. She hoists me from the ground, wrapping her arm around my shoulder supportively as we start the trek around the bunker to head back inside. As we make our way down the concrete ramp, my stomach rolls with nerves.

Taking in a deep breath, I steady my shoulders before walking through the clubhouse doors. Everyone’s going about their usual business. I’m not sure why, but I was expecting them to all be waiting for me.

I’m not that important. I need to get a handle on myself.

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