Page 7 of Mayflower

“Don’t,” I snap at him in warning. “It’s not much to ask, Dad. You can send your spies. Or use the ones you have there. If not, I can get the guards and go to Port Mrei myself?—”

“Don’t be fucking stupid,” he snaps, then takes a deep breath, gritting his teeth and blinking slowly in irritation.

I’m bluffing. That would be stupid. But I feel slightly vicious, pulling on my dad’s nerves especially when I use my trump card again. “If I ever have children, it will be with Raven. You do want grandkids one day, don’t you?”

There—there—I hit the sensitive topic again. Dad might be ruthless but don’t underestimate a powerful man with a God complex who thinks that everything that comes from him is pure gold. Including his kid. Potentially, grandkids.

“I will find him, if he is alive.”

“He is,” I say stubbornly. “You promise?

“But you need to tell me something.”

Here it goes, a deal. I raise my brows in question.

Dad huffs in slight annoyance like I’m still a spoiled kid who needs bribing. “You need to tell me I can come to Zion, and you will be happy to see me.”

There. I knew it. That’s his way to get everyone to dance to his tune.

And, oh, do I know how to stroke my dad’s ego.

I gloat, because I missed that too, my dad being himself, needy for my attention. “Yes, Dad. I’ll be happy to see you.”

And for once, I know I will be.

3

MADDY

Nature is crying, and tears are dropping from the sky.

It’s late evening. It’s raining. My living room has sunken into darkness, only lit up by the phone in my hand as I look through the pictures of Raven, Little, and I. The sandwich I made for myself two hours ago sits untouched on the coffee table.

Little called earlier and got upset when I told him Raven went to Port Mrei indefinitely. He didn’t believe me and demanded the truth. He is little but not stupid.

“Something happened to him, didn’t it, Maddy?”

I didn’t know what to tell him except, “Raven will come back soon.”

When you feed children lies long enough, they soon forget the hard truth. I learned that as a child.

I am in no condition to be around Little and feed him even more lies when I’m constantly on the verge of tears. Callie understands it. She said she’d keep him distracted for as many days as she could.

I sift through the pictures of Raven until the tears start coming again and won’t stop.

It was hard to explain to my dad what sort of relationship I had with Raven. It’s still hard to interpret it even to myself. The last night together changed our dynamics and promised so much in the future. An actual future. It filled me with hope and happiness that was snuffed out in minutes in the jungle. Not just snuffed out but sliced away. The last images of Raven, the chain, the blood, the violence, “Step away, beautiful girl,” are like a serrated knife slowly sawing my heart into pieces.

I cry until my chest hurts. It’s hard to breathe. Despite my friends and Dad and everyone’s phone calls and messages that I don’t answer, the knocks at the door I don’t reply to, I feel so lonely. The world feels empty without Raven. My chest is hollow. It’s extraordinary how one person can become your entire world in such a short time.

I walk out of the bungalow, and the two new guards stand up at the sight of me. I don’t say a word, but they follow me down the stone steps onto the main road. I’ll have two shadows from now on. And I still feel unsafe. Whereas when Raven was around, he didn’t have to be next to me. Just the fact that he was watching over me made me feel protected.

I need him, pieces of him, whatever bits I can have in order to stay sane.

So, I walk to his house. I’m about to call Archer and request Raven’s main door to be unlocked for me, but when I step onto Raven’s porch and try the door, it opens.

The last and only time I was here was two days ago.

The memories assault me immediately as I step into the dark living room with only the moonlight shining into the window.

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