Page 45 of Spinning Out of Control

“Yes,” I said softly, glancing around. There weren’t that many people out, it being a weekday and rather gloomy outside, the heavy clouds threatening rain. Caleb took a step off the porch, and I followed after him. My feet touched the concrete path leading to my front gate, and I made a face. I much preferred the smoothness of walls and the softness of my webs, and the sidewalk was probably covered in dirt and grime, but I was not going to let Caleb down.

Caleb motioned to the closed gate. “You want to do the honors?”

Considering I was the one with the free hand, I nodded, reaching out to unlatch it. It squeaked a little as it swung, inviting us through. I lifted my chin, gave Caleb a hopeful smile, and slid my bulky body out through the gate and onto the public sidewalk. And then Caleb was next to me, holding my hand reassuringly as he gave the gate a pull with his foot to mostly close it.

A drop of water landed on my head, and I looked up in surprise. The rain was starting. Caleb glanced up too. “Hey, great timing, right? Come on. Let’s go get something to eat.”

It wasn’t the easiest to see with the gloom and the rain starting to fall, but that didn’t stop my eight eyes from roaming around. The last time I had been outside my own front gate was when I went to the military base for my naturalization classes, and that had been nearly a year ago. The world looked so different seeing it with my own eyes rather than through a window or a TV screen. The air had a strange smell to it too, a sort of damp, musty odor that, while not pleasant, was different than what I was used to. The soft drops of water falling onto my head and body was a little disconcerting, since rain in the monster world could potentially be harmful, but here, it was just cold. Caleb’s hair was damp and clinging to his forehead, and I reached up to brush it lightly away with a fingertip. He glanced over at me. He looked strangely happy, and the sight made my heart dance a little in my chest. He was so beautiful, and he was all mine, by my side, supporting me, as I was supporting him.

A few people were waiting at the bus stop as we passed, shivering in jackets and under umbrellas. A few looked over at us and stared in surprise. I felt the weight of their eyes like a crushing boulder on top of me, and my feet shuffled for just a moment. Caleb squeezed my hand firmly. “Come on, babe,” he said, his voice low for only me to hear. “You’re doing great.”

We passed the group, and one of them turned to mutter something to her companion that neither of us were able to hear. But Caleb only drew me on, lifting his chin higher. I was starting to see the confidence he had once exuded in his photos. The sort of easy grace, the don’t-give-a-fuck attitude, the look that said you would be lucky to have me. And I was lucky enough to have him. He was mine, all mine. My boyfriend was the best boyfriend.

The coffee shop was only another few blocks away, but both of us were nearly soaked through when we reached Brewed For You. The windows glowed with a soft, yellow light, and I was glad to see that, while there were a few patrons inside, not all of whom were human either, the space was not crowded.

The college-age girl behind the counter had blond hair with pink and blue streaks in it. I wanted to touch them, but I figured that might not be acceptable without consent. Maybe Caleb would dye his hair fun colors for me if I asked. She stared at me for a moment before she gave me a smile that she also turned on Caleb. “Hi, what can I get you two?”

I realized that I had never been to a place like this before and had absolutely no idea what to order or even where to look to find the information that would be helpful. I turned to Caleb, giving him a shy smile. “Will you pick something for me?”

Caleb gazed back at me, then nodded and gave my hand a squeeze before he turned back to the girl at the register, ordering a salad for himself and several different beverages for me, none of which I knew, but all of which sounded like they would be delicious. He reached for his wallet in his jeans, but I stole it with several of my feet and put it back as my hand slid into his jacket pocket to retrieve my phone with the attached card slot. “I got it,” Caleb protested, but I just shook my head while the girl at the register watched us with amusement.

I held out the card to her, and she took it, not seeming too concerned with how close our fingers were in the exchange. That was a little strange, to not feel fear from someone besides Caleb, but it was nice. I was glad she did not seem afraid of me. She handed me back my card and a slip of paper. Caleb gave me a tug over to an unoccupied table. He removed one of the two chairs there and replaced it with a stool from nearby, obviously intended for monstrous patrons who could not fit in regular chairs. Not everywhere would be so accommodating, I knew, but for my first outing into the ‘real world,’ I was grateful. I settled onto the stool with not very much grace, and Caleb looked like he was trying not to laugh at me as he settled into his own chair.

I took his hand across the table once we were seated, and he squeezed it lightly. “Are you doing all right?”

I nodded. There was a lot to take in with the bright lights, all the colors and smells and sounds, and my eight eyes were constantly moving everywhere to watch everything. “Yes. It is a little overwhelming.”

Caleb nodded. “I understand that. I promise we can go home after we eat.”

I felt warmth course through me at his words. Go home. Did Caleb consider my home his too? We hadn’t been seeing each other very long, but my house felt empty now when he was not there. I looked forward to the days he came over, and I missed him when he wasn’t there. Both of us had been alone for so long, and I didn’t want to be without him.

“Will you move in with me?” I blurted out before quickly clapping my hand over my mouth.

Caleb stared at me in surprise. “Move in with you?”

I nodded, slowly pulling my hand away. “Yes. I mean… I would have to confirm it with the military base, and I’m sure there would be paperwork and probably some interviews and clearances and stuff like that. But I like having you around. I miss you when you’re not with me.”

Caleb hadn’t blinked yet, which was rather unsettling. Was that how he felt when I didn’t blink for a long time too? “As what?”

“What?” I asked.

“As your roommate? Your friend? Your boyfriend?”

I shook my head, clasping his hand in both of my own. “As my lover. My partner. The most important thing in my life.”

“Um…” Caleb said slowly. “I… Ter, are you sure? That’s a big step for you. For both of us.”

I nodded. “I know. I would not have asked you if I didn’t mean it. But if you don’t want to, I understand.” He might not feel the same way; he might want his privacy, and I would respect that, even if it hurt.

Caleb smiled, and it was brighter than sunshine. “Fuck, Ter. You really want me there, all the time?”

I nodded, giving his hand a squeeze. “I do. I love you. And I want to be able to tell you that in person. I want to watch movies with you, and go to restaurants, and see the mummies. But it might be a while before I’m ready for that last one.”

Caleb’s blue eyes seemed to fill with tears for a moment before he blinked, and they were gone again. “We can do all of those things together, babe. You talk to the military and make sure it’s all right. My lease is up at the end of July. If you get permission, I’ll move in with you. If you’ll have me.”

“Every day!” I said exuberantly, and Caleb blushed, glancing around at the people by us. Luckily, if anyone heard my outburst, they weren’t obviously listening in. “I want you with me forever, Caleb. There’s no one in this whole world I’d rather be with than you.”

Caleb chuckled. “Okay there, Disney princess, need I remind you that I’m one of the only people you’ve ever even met.”

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