Page 10 of Spinning Out of Control

CALEB: Hey. Sorry I haven’t messaged you. I had a lot to think about but I’m doing better now.

I wasn’t sure how quickly he would text me back. I kept checking my phone, but I did not get a reply. I took a shower and ate some lunch, but I still did not hear from him for several more hours. It was late in the afternoon, and I had checked my phone probably a hundred times by then, before I got a text back. My heart did an excited little hop in my chest when I heard the buzz.

TERACHT: I’m glad you are doing all right. Did you still want to get together again?

I debated playing it cool and waiting a bit before I texted him back, but I decided I was not going to play those kinds of games with Teracht. He had been so hopeful in finding someone to talk to, I couldn’t continue to leave him hanging.

CALEB: Yeah I’d like that. U free on Sat?

TERACHT: Yes all day.

CALEB: Did you still want to do that touching thing?

TERACHT: Yes. If you are still all right with it.

CALEB: Yeah. Should I come over for lunch?

There was a pause before Teracht responded, and I wondered if he was trying to interpret that beyond the basic message. But then he replied.

TERACHT: Is it all right that I only consume liquids?

CALEB: I can bring my own food if thats cool with u.

TERACHT: If it would not be too much trouble.

CALEB: No trouble. Should I bring something for you too?

TERACHT: No thank you.

CALEB: OK. 11?

TERACHT: See you then!

Saturday morning, I packed my lunch bag, which I had not used in almost a year, with an ice pack to keep everything chilled, and slid in a simple sandwich, chips, and some fruit. No reason to get fancy with my meal when we were going to be at his house. I also wasn’t sure if I would feel like eating much as I prepared myself for what was ahead. Teracht wanted to see me. All of me. Naked and under his touch. I wondered what those spider-like legs would feel like on my skin, since I hadn’t touched them skin to skin yet. He and I had not touched that much, but every press of his hands against my cheek or my arm had been like coming into a warm room from a blizzard. And I wanted more of that feeling.

I gave in and propped up one of my mirrors in the bathroom. I took extra care with grooming that morning, shaving all of the stubble on my face off (only on the left, I was pretty sure my scarred right half would never grow hair again,) plucking a few stray eyebrow hairs, and giving my junk a careful once-over to trim the hair down. I was not feeling confident about giving myself a full-on shave with only one hand yet, and I really did not want to end up in the emergency room explaining I had taken a testicle off in preparation to get naked for my monster date. I had started up a skincare routine again when I had joined the Monster Match app. I had to be gentle on my scars and use a few alternate products so my wounds did not sting or pull.

I smoothed a soothing gel over the scar on my cheek, studying it in the mirror as I did. I still hated it. I hated everything about how my face looked now. Even my unblemished left half made me angry because it reminded me of what I no longer had. I would give anything to go back to that day in August, to leave the house a minute earlier or later, to be going just a little faster or slower through that intersection. But what was done was done. I finished putting some product in my hair, the first time I had done so since before my accident. And then I wiped the rest of the sticky mess over my reflection in the mirror.

Once I was on the bus, I texted him that I was on my way and received a smiley face emoji in return. My scarf was still wrapped securely around my face, shoulders hunched against the cold. I turned the corner onto his block and approached the house with less caution than I had last time. I rang the bell, and the door opened almost immediately, no lock clicking beforehand. Teracht smiled at me as he held the door open. “Hello, Caleb.”

“Hi,” I said, stepping inside, glad to leave the chill behind.

“My delivery got here just before you,” Teracht said, gesturing me inside and holding out his hands for my coat. “I was putting it away.”

“Oh. Do you need any help?” I offered.

“No, thank you,” he said. I set down my lunch bag before undoing my jacket and scarf, handing them to him. He put them in the closet as I pulled off my slide-on boots.

Teracht glanced down at my lunch bag. “Shall I take that for you?”

“Sure.” I picked it up and handed it to him, and he moved toward the kitchen. “Please, sit. I’ll be right back.”

I moved to the sofa, which looked like it had not been used at all since my last visit. I sat down, gazing around the room at the tangle of webs that stretched high into the vaulted ceiling above me. There probably was some sort of order or design to it, but I couldn’t see what it was. I glanced over, not able to see into Teracht’s fridge too easily with him standing in front of it, but I heard things being shifted around, and a muttered hissing sound that I thought might be a curse in Teracht’s monster language. “You sure you don’t need help?”

“I got it,” Teracht replied, and a few moments later, the fridge door closed, and he was making his way back over to me. He glanced at the other side of the couch before gingerly shifting to settle on it with his large hind end draping over the arm, his spidery legs tucked underneath him like a giant cat. I wasn’t sure if he was comfortable or not like that. “How have you been?”

“All right,” I said. “You?”

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