Page 69 of Accidental Vegas Vows

“It’s a long story and I don’t have the patience to explain.”

He sighed and flipped open his folder, scanning the page. “The doctor noted that there were no other occurrences on file for Noah, so I would assume this is his first. I’ll be back once we’ve got the discharge paperwork.”

————

I let Olivia drive us home from the hospital.

My built-up anxiety had left me crashing and bleary-eyed, and she was more than happy to get behind the wheel of the rental car I’d arranged for us when we’d landed in San Francisco.

The little bandaid over Noah’s already needle-bruised arm served as a constant reminder of that panic as I gathered him from his car seat. He was more exhausted than me, his eyes squinty and his excitement to be home already dampening.

I carried him inside, his head slumped over my shoulder, his legs and arms wrapped around me like a starfish. Even though I knew he was tired, it took everything in me to not assume something else was horribly wrong and rush him back to the hospital.

“Do you want some time alone with him?” Liv asked, her bloodshot eyes meeting mine across the living room.

I shook my head. “I’d rather you come up with me to put him to bed,” I sighed. “If you want to.”

She sniffled and nodded once. “I want to.”

Together, we walked him up the stairs, our bags abandoned in the car and carrying nothing but Noah and the toy car in Liv’s hand. Together, we changed him into his pajamas, careful not to brush against the bandage that he was already complaining about. Together, we read to him, taking turns doing silly voices for the characters. Together, we tucked him in far too literally, dragging a happy giggle out of him as we stuffed the covers under his legs and abdomen. Together, we handled the crash when he finally asked us where his mother was and why she wasn’t there at the hospital. It had finally clicked. Together, we set up the baby monitor I’d bought on a whim, making sure that the camera was pointing directly at him just in case.

Together, we parented in the only ways two people who had never been parents knew how. And I couldn’t help but want more of that, couldn’t help but want her by my side when anything like this happened again, couldn’t help but want to blend my professional and personal life with her seamlessly to make whatever this was work. And on top of that, I couldn’t help but let the rage bubble up inside of me that Grace wanted to take any chance of a future with Noah away from me.

It wasn’t until I’d shut the door behind me and put enough distance between his room and me that I let myself come to terms with what happened.

“Are you okay?” Liv asked.

“No.” I shut my eyes, letting the tears well up before smearing them away with the palms of my hands.

“He’ll be fine,” she said softly, reaching across the kitchen island and taking my hand, squeezing it.

“I know,” I sighed. “It’s just… all of this. All of it, Liv.”

“I know.”

“Thank you,” I added. “For just… for being there. For helping me. For being a… second parent, when he needed it. When I needed it.”

She pursed her lips, offering me a sad little reassuring smile. “Of course. I care about him too, you know.”

I nodded as I moved around the edge of the counter. “I know,” I said.

She released my hand and I used mine to cup her cheeks instead, to hold her in place as I pressed my lips against hers. She was a comfort I didn’t deserve, but I needed it, needed her, needed the solace she brought and the idea of something more. I needed to feel, and she was one of only two people capable of giving me that — and the other was sound asleep upstairs.

“You’ve had a long day,” I mumbled against her lips, letting my fingers push back into her hair just a touch. “I’ll understand if you’re not up for anything.”

“I am,” she breathed. “If you need it, I am. I could use an outlet, too.”

“Thank fuck.”

Her arms snaked around my neck as she brought her lips to mine this time, her kiss so soft, so easy.

————

I buried myself inside of her until every raw, aching, angry emotion I felt about the situation with Noah was overwhelmed and diminished by her.

In the darkness of my bedroom, I loomed over her, my length fully encompassed by her, my everything swarmed in her presence. Her rear rested on my knees, and with one of my hands on her hip and the other cradling her head, I thrust into her.

“God,” I breathed, my lips brushing against hers, my forehead resting on the curve of her hairline. “You’re perfect. Every fucking inch of you. Everything… fuck, everything about you.”

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