Page 118 of Root

Me?

I’m good enough to fuck, but anything more—

I fucking stop.

Anything more?

Do I want a happy ending with Jess Carabella? Because I don’t think she’s that kind of girl.

I’m not that kind of guy.

I’ve gone and caught feelings but…

“Right now,” I say, pulling my tie free and pressing her hand against my heart, “I’m the only fucking friend you’ve got.”

“We’re not friends.”

“All you’ve got, Jess. Me. No one else.”

“Look—”

“And think, very carefully, before you go and do something stupid like keep lying. I’m the only thing between you and a whole mess of trouble. From all sides.”

I don’t need to say including this one.

“My brother didn’t have a chance, Rush. Not growing up.”

“And you did?”

“Yeah, because I’m older. But gangs got him. I joined one with him, and then another motorcycle club. But it’s not my thing, and he liked the drugs. I did shit to get him out. Bad shit. He was clean and he got a job. Turns out, the job for was a Ten64 affiliate and he disappeared. He calls on a burner. We leave messages up at that clearing. Ribbon on the tree. Childish shit that won’t get noticed. But they want your cousin and the Smiths. I…I tried…I…”

She stops, tears glittering, and I tell myself I’m not moved. At all.

Even as something in my chest hurts.

“So you thought you’d betray us?”

She rounds on me. “What would you do, tables turned? I didn’t know you and it was you rich fucks or my brother. And I have to choose my brother.”

Jess turns and stalks off, then she comes back and there are tears on her face as she shoves me. “You’re so fucking dangerous, Rush. Because now I know you, how the fuck do I throw you under the bus? I can’t. And I don’t know what to do.”

“Yeah, well, me either. Because I fucking like you too, Jess. I want to help you. And I will. If you trust me.”

“Okay.”

Nikolai stares at me. We’re in the gym and he’s beyond agitated. They’ve been back all afternoon and he’s down here, working out.

“It’s a good plan.”

“We don’t save the fucking girl or her brother,” he says. “Otherwise, I’m on board.”

I swallow and grab the weight, taking it from him. Fuck, it’s heavy. I put it down. I mean, I work out, I run, do weights, keep up my martial arts, but…this weight is on a different level. And it’s not even in the range he uses.

So yeah, he’s beyond agitated.

He stretches his muscles, hair slick with sweat.

“No.” My word seems to sit and grow in the air.

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