Page 53 of Say You're Mine

Because we are the Deveauxs. And we bow to no one.

Chapter sixteen

Cara

Everything in my world feels brighter, the colors more vibrant, as I step out of Dante's compound. The sun on my face, the breeze in my hair - it's like I'm experiencing everything for the first time, through the lens of newfound hope.

Seeing June, holding him in my arms, feeling our baby kick against his palm... it's a high I never want to come down from. For those precious moments, the darkness that's haunted us for so long seemed to recede, banished by the sheer power of our love.

But as I settle into the car beside Natalie, reality begins to creep back in. June's road to recovery is far from over. The scars on his body may fade, but the wounds on his psyche... those will take much longer to heal.

"You're quiet," Natalie observes, her tone gentle. "Everything okay?"

I sigh, resting my hand on the swell of my belly. "I don't know, Nat. Seeing June, being with him again... it was everything I've been dreaming of for months. But now, in the light of day, I can't help but wonder... what if it was just a moment? What if he's not ready, not really?"

Natalie reaches over, squeezing my hand. "Recovery isn't a straight line, Cara. There will be good days and bad days, steps forward and steps back. What matters is that you're there for each other, that you keep fighting."

I nod, swallowing past the sudden lump in my throat. "I know. I just... I wish I could fast-forward to the part where we're together, where we're a family. No more drama, no more pain, just... happiness."

"You'll get there," Natalie assures me, her voice ringing with quiet conviction. "You and June, you're the real deal. You've survived so much already... you'll survive this, too."

I cling to her words like a lifeline, letting them bolster my flagging spirits. She's right. June and I, we're survivors. We'll weather this storm like we've weathered all the others - together.

The rest of the ride passes in a blur, my mind awhirl with memories of June's touch, his smile, the love shining in his eyes. By the time we pull up to the safe house, I'm practically vibrating with impatience, eager to start this new chapter of our lives.

But the moment I step inside, I know something's wrong.

Judith is waiting for us, her face drawn and pale, her eyes rimmed with red. She looks like she hasn't slept in days, like she's been carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.

"Judith?" I ask, my voice trembling. "What is it? What's happened?"

She takes a shuddering breath, visibly steeling herself. "It's June. He's had a... a setback."

The words hit me like whiplash, stealing the air from my lungs. "A setback? What do you mean? I just saw him, he was fine, he was-"

"He was putting on a brave face," Judith says gently, her eyes brimming with sympathy. "For you, for the baby. But Cara... the nightmares, the flashbacks... they haven't stopped. If anything, they've gotten worse."

I feel like I've been plunged into the Artic, my veins running cold with dread. "But he seemed so... so present, so aware..."

"He is, sometimes. But other times..." Judith shakes her head, a single tear escaping down her cheek. "He gets lost in his head, in the memories of what Faulkner did to him. He lashes out, becomes aggressive... we've had to sedate him, more than once."

Nausea rises in my throat, hot and acidic. I picture June, my strong, brave June, strapped down and drugged, trapped in a nightmare he can't escape. It's too much, too cruel, after everything he's already endured.

"I need to see him," I choke out, already moving towards the door. "I need to be with him, to help him through this..."

But Judith catches my arm, her grip gentle but unyielding. "Cara, no. It's not safe, not for you or the baby. June... when he's in that state, he doesn't know where he is, who he's with. He could hurt you without ever meaning to."

"He won't," I insist, even as doubt coils like a snake in my gut. "He would never hurt me, or our child."

"Not knowingly," Judith agrees, her voice heavy with sorrow. "But right now, he's not in control. The only one who seems to be able to get through to him, to calm him down... is Sarah."

The name lands like a punch to the solar plexus, knocking the wind out of me. Sarah. Of course. The nurse who's been there for him since the beginning, who understands his trauma in a way I never could...

Jealousy rears its ugly head before I can stop it, irrational and all-consuming. It's not fair, I know it's not. Sarah has been a godsend, a lifeline for June when he needed it most. I should be grateful for her, should be singing her praises from the rooftops.

But the image of her comforting him, holding him, bringing him back from the brink... it twists like a knife in my heart, sharp and cold and cruel.

"I'm sorry," Judith says, seeing the play of emotions on my face. "I know this isn't easy, Cara. But we have to put June's recovery first. We have to trust that Sarah knows what she's doing, that she has his best interests at heart."

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