Page 48 of Say You're Mine

Hell. The word triggers a cascade of memories, each more horrific than the last. Faulkner's leering face, the searing agony of electrodes against my temples, Cara's voice twisted into something monstrous and wrong.

I lurch forward, bile rising in my throat. Judith is there in an instant, holding a basin as I retch and heave. There's nothing left in my stomach to bring up, just acid and the bitter taste of fear.

"It's okay," Judith soothes, rubbing circles on my back. "You're okay. It's over now."

But is it? The poison Faulkner pumped into my veins, the lies he whispered in my ear – they cling to me like a second skin, tainting every thought, every memory.

The thought is enough to drain the fight from my body. I sag back against the pillows, sudden tears burning my eyes. "I'm sorry," I whisper, my voice cracking on the words. "I'm so fucking sorry."

Judith pulls me into her arms, holding me as sobs wrack my battered frame. "You have nothing to apologize for," she says fiercely. "What happened to you... It's unforgivable. But you survived, June. You held on. And we're going to get you through this, no matter what it takes."

I cling to her, to the solid certainty of her love, her strength. She's always been my anchor, the one person who sees past the scars and shadows to the man I want to be. If she believes I can come back from this, can heal and be whole again...

Maybe, just maybe, it's possible.

"Tell me what I need to do," I say, pulling back to meet her eyes. "Whatever it takes, however long it takes... I'll do it. I'll put in the work. I have to be there for them, Jude. For Cara and our baby."

Judith's smile is a warm balm, easing the ragged edges of my soul. "I know you will," she says, cupping my face in her hands. "You're the strongest person I know, June. If anyone can come through this, it's you."

She leans in, pressing a kiss to my forehead. "Rest now," she murmurs. "We'll talk more later, and I'll fill you in on the plan. But for now, just focus on healing. On getting stronger."

I nod, suddenly bone-weary. The conversation, brief as it was, has drained me utterly. I let Judith help me lie back, let her tuck the blankets around me like she did when we were children and the monsters under the bed were the worst of our fears.

"Thank you," I whisper, my eyes already drifting shut. "For saving me. For believing in me."

Her hand finds mine, fingers intertwining. "Always," she promises, her voice a soothing murmur in the gathering dark. "I'll always be here, little brother. No matter what, just give it time We'll figure it out."

Time.

The word echoes in my skull, mocking me. How much time have I already lost?

How many moments of Cara's pregnancy, of our child growing and changing, have been stolen from me?

"I need to see her," I insist, trying to push myself up again. "Cara. I have to-"

"Not yet." Judith's voice is gentle but firm. "You're not ready, June. And frankly, neither is she."

The words hit me like a physical blow. "What do you mean? Is she okay? The baby-"

"They're both fine," Judith assures me quickly. "But Cara's under a lot of stress. The pregnancy is high-risk now, and Elaine... well, she's not making things easy."

A growl rumbles in my chest, primal and fierce. "What has she done?"

Judith sighs, running a hand through her silver-streaked hair. "She's trying to get custody of the baby. Claiming Cara's an unfit mother due to her association with 'known criminals'."

The rage that surges through me is white-hot, searing away the last vestiges of drug-induced fog. I throw off the blankets, ignoring the way the room spins as I stand.

"June, stop!" Judith grabs my arm, her grip surprisingly strong. "You can't go charging in there half-cocked. You'll only make things worse."

"Worse?" I snarl, rounding on her. "How the fuck could things be worse? That bitch is trying to steal my child, Judith. My family. I won't let her-"

"And what are you going to do?" Judith's voice cracks like a whip. "Look at yourself, June. You can barely stand. You've been muttering and thrashing in your sleep for weeks, reliving God knows what horrors. What do you think will happen if you go to Cara like this? If you lash out, thinking she's another one of Faulkner's illusions?"

The fight drains out of me as quickly as it came. I slump back onto the bed, my head in my hands. "I would never hurt her," I whisper, but even as the words leave my mouth, I'm not sure I believe them.

Judith sits beside me, her arm around my shoulders. "I know you don't want to," she says softly. "But June, we need to be careful. For Cara's sake, and for the baby's. We need to make sure you're really you before we risk a reunion."

I nod, too exhausted to argue further. But as Judith helps me lie back down, a single thought burns bright in my mind.

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