Page 7 of Say You'll Stay

I can’t stop thinking about him - the way his eyes would light up when he talked about our future, the gentle way he’d tuck a stray lock of hair behind my ear. Those little moments, the ones I once took for granted, now loom large in my mind, taunting me with all that I’ve lost.

Entering my apartment feels like stepping into a void, the silence a constant reminder of his absence. I make my way to the bedroom, my fingers tracing the familiar contours of the furniture, searching for any lingering trace of June’s comforting presence.

My eyes land on the framed photo on the dresser, the one of us laughing together at some long-forgotten party. The image is a bittersweet balm to my aching heart, a snapshot of a time when our love felt indestructible, unbreakable.

I sink down onto the bed, the mattress still faintly imbued with his scent, and I can’t hold back the tears any longer. They flow freely, a testament to the depth of my grief, the ache of a love that was so cruelly severed.

Reaching for my phone, I find myself scrolling through our old text messages, each word a dagger to my soul. The casual banter, the soft endearments - they’re a cruel reminder of all that we once shared.

My thumb hovers over the screen, the urge to reach out to him, to hear his voice, nearly overwhelming. But fear and pride war within me, a constant battle that keeps me from taking that final step.

What if he’s moved on? What if I’m only opening myself up to more heartbreak? The what-ifs swirl in my mind, paralyzing me, keeping me from taking that leap of faith.

And yet, a part of me can’t help but wonder - what if he still cares? What if, like me, he’s struggling to find his way back to the connection we once shared?

The thought sends a flutter of hope through my chest, a fragile flame in the darkness. With a deep breath, I begin to type, my fingers trembling as I compose a message.

“June… I… I got a job offer today. The animation studio, the one I’ve been dreaming of. They want me to start next month. I just thought you should know.”

My thumb hovers over the send button, my heart pounding in my ears. This is it, the moment of truth. Do I take the risk, open myself up to the possibility of reconciliation? Or do I play it safe, protect the shattered pieces of my heart?

In the end, the choice is taken from me as I hear the front door open, Sonya’s cheerful voice calling out. With a resigned sigh, I delete the draft, the words disappearing into the ether, just like the fading hope in my chest.

“Maybe another time,” I whisper to the empty room, the ghost of June’s name lingering on my lips.

For now, I’ll focus on my future, on the opportunities that are finally starting to unfold. But a part of me will always be waiting, hoping that one day, June will find his way back to me.

Until then, I’ll carry the weight of our shared history, the memories that both comfort and haunt me. Because despite the pain, despite the uncertainty that lies ahead, I know that the love we once shared will always be a part of who I am.

Chapter four

The clinking of silverware against porcelain and the muted chatter of the restaurant’s patrons create a symphony of feigned normalcy. I sit across from Amethyst, her perfectly manicured fingers toying with the stem of her wine glass as she regales me with tales of her latest shopping spree.

“And then, I found the most exquisite Chanel clutch. It was like it was made for me, June,” she gushes, her eyes sparkling with a materialistic glee that I can’t quite bring myself to share.

A wave of revulsion sours my gut as I look at Amethyst, her calculated grace and practiced charm a far cry from the vibrant, genuine warmth I crave. I force a smile that feels more like a grimace. “That’s great, Amethyst. I’m glad you found something you like.”

She leans forward, her hand coming to rest on mine, the contact cold and artificial. “You know, June, I was thinking maybe we could go shopping together sometime. I’d love to help you pick out some new pieces for your wardrobe.”

I resist the urge to pull my hand away, instead offering a noncommittal hum. “Maybe. I’ve been pretty busy lately with work and everything.”

Amethyst pouts, her perfectly painted lips forming a moue of disappointment. “You’re always so busy, June. I feel like I hardly see you anymore.”

I sigh, the weight of my family’s expectations and my own inner turmoil pressing down on me like a physical force. “I know, Amethyst. I’m sorry. It’s just…a lot is going on.”

She nods, her expression softening into one of feigned sympathy. “I understand, June. But remember, I’m here for you. Whenever you need me.”

The lie tastes bitter on my tongue as I force another smile, the muscles in my face aching with the effort. “Thanks, Amethyst. That means a lot.”

We lapse into silence, the clinking of silverware and the muted chatter of the restaurant filling the space between us. I feel like I’m suffocating, trapped in a life that doesn’t fit, playing a role that I never asked for.

And then, like a bolt of lightning splitting the sky, I hear it - a laugh, bright and familiar, cutting through the din of the restaurant like a beacon in the darkness. My head snaps up, my eyes scanning the room, searching for the source of that sound.

There she is. Cara. She’s sitting at a table across the room, her head thrown back in laughter, her face alight with a joy that I haven’t seen in months. But she’s not alone. There’s a man sitting beside her, his head bent close to hers, a hand resting on her arm in a gesture that speaks of intimacy and familiarity.

I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut, the air rushing out of my lungs in a painful whoosh. Jealousy, hot and bitter, rises up in my throat, choking me. Is this him? The man she left me for? The reason she walked away from everything we had, everything we could have been?

Amethyst’s voice fades into the background, a distant buzz drowned out by the roaring in my ears. I stand abruptly, my chair scraping against the floor with a jarring screech. Amethyst looks up at me, her eyes wide with surprise.

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