Page 33 of Jared's Redemption

“Everything that happened was my fault.” I confess, staring at her small hand resting in my palm.

“When I was younger, all I knew was evil. It tainted me, even as a child.” I brush a hand over my shirt, as if the scars underneath are recent injuries. “But when I was ready to give up, James Barone picked me up from the streets. He offered me a better life in exchange for loyalty. I signed a deal with the devil that night.” I say, memories flooding me.

“His wife was so kind, Markus and Alec’s mother Maria. You would have liked her, the way she could silence an entire room with her smile and kind voice alone. Their sister Cassidy was sweet and brave like their mother, but I had only met her a few times.” I say, closing my eyes as I remember their faces. Maria, with her black hair, had the same stunning shade of green eyes that her sons and granddaughter are blessed with.

“I didn’t know they had a sister.” Luna says, hanging onto each word. I smile sadly, nodding while lost in thought.

“She died at only 18 years old. Just after I was hired. But the night of her accident, I was on a special mission and had no idea what was happening. The gang I used to work for had challenged the Barone’s, they sent threats to James that they were going to kill his sons. I was only twenty-two, but he told me that there was something about me. James saw a potential for me to be a leader. Of course, I would do anything to prove to him I was. This was an opportunity for a real life, one I could be proud of.”

“James brought me into his office and told me that this mission would demand stealth. He gave me a five-minute window to destroy the house where the gang was hiding. I was young and too eager to impress him, so I didn’t question any of his orders. That same night, I went slinking through the woods and poured gasoline all over a house I had never seen before. When I flicked that lighter to life and threw it onto the porch, I hadn’t even bothered to peer through the windows.” I take a shaking breath, swiping my hands on my jeans as bile rises to burn my throat.

“The nightmares?” Luna asks, and I nod while leaning against the wall. Putting space between us for when she inevitably told me to leave.

“When it was over, I turned to leave and thought I had done such a terrific job. Until a scream came from the home. There was a mother holding her little girl in the window while a blaze ripped through the home behind their silhouettes. She screamed and begged for help.” My jaw clenches, the words coming harder as I struggle to catch my breath. Luna shakes her head, a single tear falling from her cheek.

“I couldn’t save them. I tried, but the fire was too hot. Even when I tried, James had sent his men to make sure I finished the job, and they dragged me back out. The truth of what I had done was so much worse than I imagined. That home I burned to the ground had James’ mistress and her little girl in it. She was hiding from him, trying to escape the monster he had become and protect her child. I murdered them. That night, I killed Steffen’s mother.” I confess, rubbing a hand over my face.

“What?” Luna asks, covering her mouth as a soft sob jerks her body.

“Steffen was just a child. He was with his father, safe and sleeping in bed, while his pregnant mother and sister burned alive. Steffen’s father shot himself when he found out the next day, which meant Steffen was shipped off to his uncle. That’s where he became a problem for us and eventually you.” I say, the words tumbling from my mouth as I admit what I’ve done. I felt a twisted sense of relief, telling her the truth.

Luna peers up at me through wet lashes, shaking her head in disbelief. A throat being cleared makes me glance over my shoulder and lock eyes with Alec. He knew already. Alec was the one who discovered the truth all those years ago and told me. I did not know who Steffen was. I was forbidden to look for the woman’s family at James’ command. Dragging myself from the room, I brush past Alec. The disgust in her eyes was too much to bear. Now that Luna knew I’m not the man she thought I was.

The hospital was a rush of sound, people pushing past and doctors in white jackets stepping cautiously around our men who wear mostly black. It was overwhelming and my ears were rushing with the sound of my heart beating harder. I needed to do something, break something with my hands. I had broken Luna with my words.

Alec steps in front of me, opening his mouth as a nurse rushes past us. He peers around my shoulder, eyes widening just the slightest bit as I whip around to see Luna’s room flooding with activity. I run to the door, nearly forcing my way in as the room slows. Luna is staring at me, her face a mask of icy stillness while she holds the cables to her monitors in her hand. Her IV dangles, blood slowly trickling down her arm as she wheezes.

Multiple hands are directing and guiding her to lie back in bed, but she shoves and fights them without looking away from me.

“Luna, stop this, get back in bed.” I huff out in frustration.

“You don’t get to leave me. You don’t get to run off while I’m stuck here.” She shouts, but allows the older nurse to guide her to lie back. She works quickly to reattach Luna’s monitors while giving me a glare occasionally. I deserve it.

“The way you looked at me.” I start, shaking my head while my feet are planted firmly to the ground. Luna flinches, looking up and away as the nurse places a new IV in her arm. Without thinking, I step forward and grip her free hand in mine, cupping the back of her head as she buries her face against my abdomen.

“Hate needles.” She whines, making me smirk at the irony.

“My brave girl walked through fire, smiled while a man held a gun to her head and enjoyed being hunted through the dark woods. But you draw the line at needles?” I say in a teasing tone. Luna grumbles before sinking her teeth into the skin above my hip. A groan slips past my lips as the nurse gives me one last glance before leaving the room.

“Lunatic, you better let go.” I snarl the words, only to be rewarded with her giggles as she opens her mouth and drops back against the pillows with a pained expression.

“Jared, you’re an idiot. I was looking at you like your life has been bullshit. Yet you still became an incredible man who risked his life for a girl he barely knows. We have all made mistakes, but what matters is the lessons we learn from them. And those lessons lead us to each other. I look at you with adoration, Biggums.” She says, gripping my hand tightly. My scars won’t heal overnight by her touch and the kindness she showed me, but it was a start.

Chapter 24- Luna

Watching him sleep brought me peace in the chaos, even as the sound of the hospital makes my skin crawl. My body was rested after sleeping for so long, but my mind remained restless. Jared groaned in his sleep, hunched over with his head in my lap. The stubborn man refused to get in bed, afraid to hurt me. My fingers twine in his silky hair, gray filling his sideburns and down into his beard.

My sexy old man. I snicker to myself, making him stir as he sits up suddenly. His head whips around as he clears the room and finally looks at me.

“I’m here, Biggums.” I say softly, cupping his jaw and pressing gentle kisses to his cheek. Jared sighs as he turns his face, lips ghosting over mine as I still and wait for him to close the distance. But he doesn’t, instead he sits back and runs hands through his hair. I was getting sick of the space he was forcing between us.

“Jared, what happened wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know.” I tell him, as if the truth is obvious. Jared snorts a laugh, cold and empty, as he looks at me like I’ve grown a second head.

“Who poured the gasoline, who lit the lighter and threw it? Luna, it was my fault. You can’t just lie away my fuck ups.” He says harshly, making my cheeks burn with irritation.

“My mother hasn’t come in to see me since I woke up, because of the guilt she carries. For now, we are only communicating through text and a few phone calls. But I forgive her, do you know why?” I ask him, reaching for his hand.

“Because you’re ignorant of this world and have a frustrating lack of self-preservation.” He says, pulling away from me. My teeth squeak in protest at how tightly I grind them.

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