Page 94 of A Broken Throne of Bronze

“That’s it? Oh?” Loren echoes, voice tightening.

I know what he wants me to say. That I’ve been thinking of him just as much. That I’ve been worried sick about him, yearning for the day I can see him again.

But I can’t tell him that.

He knows me too well. He would know it’s a lie.

So, I don’t lie.

“Did he…” My eyes find his bruises again. I can’t bear to think that Viridian… That he might be responsible for them. “Are those…?”

Loren looks down at his chest, and then back up at me. “I had a scuffle with the guards.” He says it so casually, as if it’s a common occurrence. “Nothing to worry about, I promise.”

Has he tried to fight his way out? Has he tried to escape, desperate to find me, when I didn’t come back for him, like I said I would?

“I’m so sorry.” I sink to my knees and grip the prison bars. Tears prick at my eyes. “This is all my fault.”

“No,” Loren says, in an attempt to soothe me. He lowers himself to my level, reaching out to cup my face through the bars. “None of this is your fault.”

Sobs slip through my defenses. “It is my fault,” I repeat.

“Don’t blame yourself for this, Cryssa.” He takes my hand and places it over his heart. “I’m all right. Everything is going to be all right,” he says, as if he genuinely believes it. “I promise.”

But everything isn’t all right.

How can I tell him I’m not the same Cryssa he once knew?

That my feelings for him have changed?

The girl I was when I first arrived at High Keep comes rushing back to me. The human girl, who felt out of place amongst the noble fae. The girl who wanted nothing more to leave this place and never come back.

The girl Loren loves.

Though, no matter how much I may want it, that girl is gone. She’s never coming back.

I don’t know who I am anymore.

I can feel Viridian’s gaze on me. But I don’t dare look back. I don’t want him to see me like this.

To see me tearing apart at the seams.

And I know it’s terrible, that I am terrible for wanting this, but…

I want nothing more than to be back upstairs in my studio with Viridian. To be back in that moment, before this happened.

Because now that it has, now that I’ve seen Loren again, I know things between Viridian and I will never be the same.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Ishut myself in my room for days. No one but Tiffy comes in, and she’s the only one that comes out.

I eat. I sleep. I draw.

I’ve drawn so much that every free space in my bedchamber is filled with pages from my sketchbook.

All the drawings are the same.

High cheekbones, loose black hair, that serious expression…

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