Page 13 of Shielded

Growing up, my mom was never the sentimental type. Nor was she the type to talk about feelings. She did what needed to be done to raise my sister and I and that’s the end of it and nothing more. So, this breakdown of emotion has me feeling off-kilter.

Thankfully, Perry steps in again. He stands and helps my mother up from the ground, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. “The good part is that you define your own worth. If you believe deep down that you’re not good enough for Enrique, you won’t be. But if you take a minute and think about what you give him, how you show up for him, how you’ve healed for him, you’ll probably find that you’ve grown into someone worthy of his love. No one is perfect. We’re all just learning to be human.”

It's a soft, gentle approach to the monster that is my mother, and for a second, I glimpse into the soul of a man who I think might be fucking perfect. He’s aggressive and dominant, but he knows when to be tender.

My mom stares toward both of us with tears in her eyes. “I should go talk to Enrique.” She reaches up toward Perry for a hug, then rounds to me for one as well. “Thank you both. I needed this today. I guess cold feet is a real thing.” She clears her throat. “And… I’m sorry for what I said about the age difference thing.” Her gaze goes up to Perry. “You’re right. You do round her out. I can see that.”

“Enrique does the same for you too, Mom. He’s a great guy. You’ll be happy together.”

She sighs. “I know, it’s just… when I think about how awful things ended with your dad, I… I feel guilty, ya know? I feel like I don’t deserve to be happy.”

“I lived with you and Dad. No offense, but it was clear that you guys were never happy. You needed romance and adventure. Dad needed calm and quiet. And while I don’t love how you got there, you both got what you wanted in the end.”

“Did we, though? Your sister says your dad is still unhappy.”

My tone is gentle as I say, “He was, but he met someone recently and they’re really getting along nicely.”

I’ll never get used to this weird relationship I have with my parents. I shouldn’t be figuring out their problems and they shouldn’t be asking me to, but here we are.

Mom bites back a grin. “Really? He’s met someone? Is she nice?”

I nod. “I’ve only met her once, but she seemed great. She’s a freelance artist. She paints pictures of people’s pets. They seem like they’ll be a good match.”

“Good.” Mom drags in a deep breath as though she needed to hear my father had moved on before she could. I’ll never understand the way people think, or why anyone would choose an affair over walking away, but I know nothing is ever black and white. Most of the time there’s a gray area. A gray area where people don’t mean bad. A gray where people are trying to figure things out. Unfortunately, the gray is also where a lot of people end up hurt.

Mom squeezes my hand and turns toward the door. “See you both this weekend, then?”

I glance toward her and then up at Perry. “Mom, I should tell you that Perry and I aren’t really—”

“Ready yet.” Perry squeezes my hand in his. “We have some shopping to do for the wedding, so we should get moving.”

I don’t know why he stopped me from telling the truth. I’d feel so much better getting this out in the open. Turns out, the only one I’m confusing with this gray area is me.

“Me too.” Mom grins. “See you then.”

I smile as she walks out the door and heads toward her car with the overnight bag in hand.

“What was that about?” I turn toward Perry. “I was about to get you off the hook.”

He grins and pulls me against his chest, cupping my ass in his giant hand. “I don’t want to be off the hook. I want to finish what we started earlier.”

I want to follow his lead. I want to ignore every nagging thought and enjoy my life. For once, I want to feel good. Instead, I start talking.

“I really want that too, but not if you’re pretending. This… the way you were today, I… I want this in my life, Perry. I know it’s—”

He leans into my lips and kisses them gently, cupping my face as he pulls away. “Let me take care of you. I won’t let go. Promise.”

I smile and lean against his chest. “You want to go get that dinner we were after earlier?”

He grins. “Yeah, I’d love that.”

When Perry smiles, my heart feels full. I can’t help but wonder if maybe Dot was right. My issue was never with aggression and dominance. My issues were with myself. Because right now, this man could take me over his knees again and again, and I’d gladly let him.

Chapter Six

Perry

“You were naughty today, you bad girl.” My tone is low as I glance toward Siren’s sweet little face and say, “You were mouthing off, you stole your mom’s phone, and you tried to ditch me at the end of it all.”

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