Page 47 of Wild Card

“Come on.” He holds an arm out for me, and it feels a little like a lifeline.

I walk straight into his bare chest, and he leads us out of the bathroom and into the pack bedroom. He doesn’t stop until we’re right in front of the bed.

The irrational fear that he’s going to leave me alone washes over me from nowhere.

He’s not going to, right?

God.

I think my childhood screwed me up worse than I ever knew. My parents bonded during a heat. It was rushed, and it’s always been clear how much my fathers resented my mother for it. Like it’s solely her fault, and they had no choice or free will.

Bear gently moves me aside and pulls back the plush comforter before nodding to the mattress. “Climb in, little one.”

He doesn’t sound angry, but that might come once he realizes he’s legitimately tethered to me for life.

My body snaps into motion, and I scramble to crawl onto the bed.

My jaw falls as Bear turns and walks away while pulling his hair from the tie he put it in to shower. A hollow pit forms in my gut before he’s even to the door.

I fall back against the pillows and breathe through the urge to cry.

He could have at least kissed me goodnight if he wanted to sleep in his own bed with Shera.

The lights flick off, but the door doesn’t open and close. A few seconds later, the bed dips as Bear sits on the edge.

“I’m going to need a little more space, but you’re welcome to lie on top of me once I’m situated,” he says, running the backs of his fingers over my cheek.

My face burns as I scoot back to make room for him.

I completely misread that situation.

I wish I knew why my mind always goes to the grimmest possibility. Part of it comes from being consistently let down.

Brooklyn and I didn’t have a great home life. She left North Carolina before I did, and things were tough for her in New York too. I was just too focused on my own stuff to notice.

My high school boyfriend got a scholarship in California. Up until the week before he left, he swore he was going to bring me with him. It sucked to be left behind so easily.

Then the same thing happened with Thorne.

Bear tosses his arm on the pillow above my head and nods to his chest. “I’ll be happiest if you’re touching me.”

My heart pounds as I try to feel him out in the bond.

It dawns on me way too late.

I haven’t been blocking any of my thoughts or feelings. I’m sure he got an up-close-and-personal view of my self-esteem issues.

His head tilts, and I wiggle until my head rests on his arm. He reaches over, grabbing my top leg and bringing it to rest on his pelvis.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, moving my hand to run through the few hairs on his chest. “I panicked.”

“I know I’m not much to look at, but I will make up for it in other ways?—”

I gasp, pushing up to lean over his chest.

“Oh, God. No, please don’t think that. I’m extremely attracted to you—physically and emotionally.” My hair falls over his chest as my head shakes. My anxiety must have triggered his own perceived shortcomings. If I’m not honest with him, he’ll lie here all night, thinking it’s something it’s not. I exhale heavily and go on. “My dads blame my mom for tricking them into bonding. To this day, I don’t know why they bother staying together. Bonds can’t be dissolved, but they can be chemically eased. They aren’t happy.”

Bear’s arm that I was lying on lifts until his hand is on my ribs, and he pulls me back down. “That sounds complicated.”

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