Page 100 of Why Not Both?

We get into the car, Lis driving again. Even though the brain fog of the morning has lifted and I probably could drive the car, she’s had more practice at driving than I have. We decide to go back to my place since Sophie will be home and Vic won’t be. Or not my place, I guess. Vic’s place. I need to tell Lis I bought a condo and I’ll be moving.

“I’ve been wondering something,” Lis says as we drive through the traffic on Fourth Avenue. “And please just tell me to stay out of it if that’s what you want.”

She sucks her bottom lip into her mouth and bites down. The movement makes me shift uncomfortably in my seat, even though I know it’s a gesture of concern and not seduction.

“Ask me whatever you want, Lis.”

“Your dad is a dick,” she blurts out.

I laugh. “That’s not really a question.”

“You go over there every year. He’s a dick. And the rest of the year you have no relationship with him at all.”

“I don’t want a relationship with him. He sends me messages every once in a while that I usually ignore. I see him twice a year on the anniversary of my mom’s death and his birthday, and that’s enough for me.”

“But why? Why do you keep going when he treats you like that?”

I sigh. “I’m feeling generous today. And when I’m feeling generous, I can admit that my father is not a bad man. He just… has bad priorities. He calls people by those stupid nicknames because he thinks it makes up for all the times he’s not around. And when I’m being even more generous, I can also admit that him pushing me to start a business or join his isn’t really him trying to be controlling. It’s because he cares about me. Maybe a little bit him wanting to control me.”

She snorts and I continue.

“Unfortunately, the end result is the same. He got worse after Mom died. He was always bad. She would have to constantly remind him we wanted him with us more than we wanted the money he brought in. Looking back, I think they really loved each other even though he never really understood how to show it. So when she was dying, I promised my mom that I would always be there for him. In the end, I had to cut back for my own sanity. So now it’s just the two days. His birthday isn’t as difficult.”

She sighs. “Okay. Then I won’t argue with you about it. And if you want me to come with you every year for the rest of our lives, I will do that. But I want to say one thing about it. Do you think, if your mom knew the kinds of things he says to you, that she would hold you to that promise?”

My breathing stops. Does she know what she just said? Did she mean it? The rest of our lives? Surely now is the moment I can tell her I love her.

But I hold it back. “I know she wouldn’t hold me to it,” I say instead. “But it’s the last thing I promised her, so I hold myself to it.”

“All right. The rest of our lives then.” She sighs again and changes the subject before I can bring up the thoughts swirling around my brain. “Can you text Daze and Sophie? Let them know we’re going back to your place and ask if they’re okay to keep Cerberus.”

“Are you going to unlock it?”

“While I’m driving a hundred thousand dollar car? Nope. Both hands on the wheel at all times.”

I pick up the phone and type in the passcode that she tells me. I select the app she mentions and find the group chat with her, Daze, and Sophie.

Me: Spencer and I are going back to his apartment.

“You realize you’ve just given me access to your phone,” I say, checking through what else she has on there while I wait for the reply.

She snorts. “There’s nothing interesting on it. A Pinterest profile loaded with recipes and hairstyles. The messaging app where I talk to my sister, her fiancée, my parents, and people from work. And a bunch of photos of mostly food and Cerberus. I deleted the dating app the night we met.”

I turn toward her, frowning, but she’s not looking. “I don’t remember you doing that.”

She glances at me before returning her attention to the road.

“It was before we met, actually. I didn’t tell you this story?”

“No.”

“I’d been on a date and he basically asked for my kidney. It was so awful that I immediately left and deleted the app.”

I laugh. “Are you serious?”

“Yes. Then Daze and Sophie browbeat me into going to the bar.”

“I’ll have to thank them for that. Might have to find the guy and thank him, too.”

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