Page 96 of Why Not Both?

I want to slap him. Stabbing is still an option. Unfortunately, the knives within reach are just table knives. But if I just stood, I could slap Beckett Cole across his uncaring face. Except Spencer still holds my hand and I think he needs me next to him more than he needs me to slap his father.

Beckett leaves the room and Spencer slumps in his chair, completely deflated.

“Spencer? Are you okay?”

He’s let go of my hand, staring down at his lap. I wait for him to look at me. He doesn’t.

After a while, he shrugs. “It’s not the first time. It won’t be the last. He wasn’t even there the day she died. Why would the anniversary of her death be any different?”

He’s a thirty-year-old man, but suddenly I can see the fourteen-year-old boy whose mother has just died and whose father isn’t there. Whose father has chosen his job over his son. Again.

And then it hits me. I’ve done exactly the same thing. I chose my job, one I hadn’t even started yet, over him. Both job and relationship were barely a few hours old. And yet, when it came down to it, I chose the job and left him in the cold.

“Get up,” I demand, standing as well.

His gaze snaps to mine, confusion tightening his brow. But he does what I tell him.

I grip his hoodie in my fists, getting closer. “I want you to understand something. I didn’t choose the job over you because I didn’t want to be with you. I did want to be with you. I do want to be with you.”

“Then why aren’t we together? Why me or the job? Why not both?” he asks.

“Because it’s terrifying,” I whisper. “What if we try and it doesn’t work out? What if it all goes bad?”

“What if it doesn’t? What if we live happily ever after, like Buttercup and Westley, or Rick and Evie, or Penelope and what’s his name? James McAvoy.”

A smile twitches my lips. “Johnny.”

“Yeah. What if we have the greatest romance ever told?”

I roll my eyes, but he’s still referenced some of my favourite movies, my favourite love stories. “The greatest? Don’t you think you’re being a little dramatic?”

He shakes his head slowly. And I know he doesn’t. He believes every single word he’s said. He believes I can have both him and the job. And why can’t I? Why can’t I have this amazing man who sees me, who is kind and funny?

I tug on his hoodie, drawing him closer. I don’t think I could stop myself from kissing him even if I wanted to.

Chapter 34

Spencer

Fire races through me the moment our lips touch, burning away the haze of grief and anger shrouding my mind. My hands find her hips, dragging her against me. Her hands release the front of my hoodie and snake up my chest, fingers threading into my hair, pulling my head down closer to her. One of my hands makes a similar trip and I find the clip in her hair, opening it and letting it all loose, the way I like it best. Then, I palm her ass, lifting her onto her toes.

“Spencer, I need you.”

Blood rushes from my head to my dick at her whispered words and I’m dizzy for a second. I want to push her against the wall and take her right here in my father’s dining room. But sense prevails before I start tearing her clothes off.

“I would take you right here, firecracker, except I have no condoms.”

She blinks her eyes open. They’re the darkest green I’ve ever seen them filled with desire. She catches her bottom lip between her teeth and I want to stop her so I can do that instead.

“I have an IUD,” she finally says. “If you want…”

I search her eyes. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. I’m tired of fighting this, Spencer. It’s been almost four months. I don’t want to wait another twenty minutes to get all the way back to my place or yours. I want you right the fuck now. This place is a fucking palace. There has to be a bed or two kicking around we can use, right?”

I chuckle and nod. “I know just the place. Come on.”

I find one of her hands and lace our fingers together, tugging her with me as I leave the dining room and move to the back of the house. We pass a wall of windows and Lis comes to a stop, looking down.

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