Page 90 of Why Not Both?

“I don’t know. Until she says so, I’m not going to make any assumptions.”

“Derek and Adalie want to know if you want to go out tonight. Derek said drinks are on him if you want to get shitfaced.”

I huff a laugh and shake my head. “Maybe on Thursday.”

“You going to your new place now?”

“Sam’s office first. But then, yeah.”

“When does your furniture show up?”

Over the last week, I’d gone back to the furniture stores and chosen what I wanted. Thankfully, the couch I wanted was the floor model, so I could have it whenever I was ready. The dining set had to be ordered and would take a few weeks.

“Couch comes on Thursday afternoon,” I say. “Movers are coming to your place next Monday.”

“When are you going to have people over? Reveal the big surprise?”

I shrug. “Ask me on Thursday.”

She gives me a sympathetic smile. “Okay. Let me know if you need anything.”

I meet Sam and spend more money in a single day than I’ve ever spent in my life. But everything goes smoothly and then she hands me the keys.

“That’s it?” I ask.

“That’s it,” she says. Then she hands me a basket filled with a bunch of neat kitchen things like a baking dish, an oven mitt, and some silicone spoons and something flat. “A little gift to say thank you for your business.”

“What’s this?” I ask, pointing.

“The spatula?”

“That’s not a spatula. You’d never be able to flip anything with that.”

She laughs. “It’s not for flipping. It’s for mixing, usually. Sometimes spreading things like icing. You really don’t spend a lot of time in the kitchen, do you?”

I shake my head, trying not to think about Lis.

“Are you okay, Spencer? You don’t seem as excited about your new place as I thought you would be.”

I try to give her a smile. “I will be. It’s just a bad day. Thank you for this. It’s all stuff I need.”

“I figured you might. Well, it was a pleasure. I’m glad to have helped you.”

I leave her office and go to my new apartment, carrying up my box of dishes and the gift from Sam. I unlock the front door and step inside.

Everything is quiet and empty. The sun streams in through the floor-to-ceiling windows, trying in vain to cheer me up. And I should be happy. Maybe I shouldn’t have tried to come here until the day after tomorrow. Or even the day after that.

I set my things on the kitchen counter, suddenly feeling very tired.

I return to the car and bring up more things. Vic and I had purchased a bunch of cleaning supplies. The previous owner had been required to clean before they handed over possession, but Vic said I might want to do it myself so I know what’s been done.

I spend the day scrubbing everything. It’s a good exercise to keep me from thinking too much. I order some pizza for dinner, having it delivered and ensuring I set up the buzzer so I know when they arrive.

After I eat—the only thing I’ve eaten today—I tidy up and then sit on the floor with my back to the kitchen island, looking out the window with the view of the ocean. I watch that view for a long time, wishing my mom could be here, wondering what she would think of the place.

I’m still wondering when I fall asleep.

#

---