Page 52 of Why Not Both?

Spencer

After dinner, Lis and I walk back across the street to Blue Vista. Daze and Sophie are going to stop in next week to talk to me and Vic about what their budget is to see if there’s anything we can do for them.

When we get back, I lead Lis into my office. Everything is quiet. I know she’s in her head about something, but I can’t figure out what.

“Are you okay?” I ask.

She freezes, lifting her eyes to search mine. “What do you mean?”

“You’re upset about something. I don’t think it’s the engagement. But you shifted your glass closer to me, so I thought you wanted me to change the subject.”

She stares at me for a long moment and I can see doubt flash across her features. “I am so happy for my sister,” she says. “I know how much she loves Sophie and how much Soph loves her. And their wedding is going to be spectacular and their life together is going to be perfect.”

“But…”

Her shoulders slump and she looks up at me with damp eyes. I want to wrap her in my arms and take away whatever she’s feeling that’s making her sad.

“But after the initial excitement wore off, I started to feel jealous. And then I felt guilty for feeling jealous. I should be able to be happy for her without anything else interfering.”

“It’s okay to feel two conflicting emotions at the same time, Lis.”

She wraps her arms around herself, and her gaze drops to the ground. “It’s not just that.”

The weight of everything that happened between us settles into the room. I want to know what she’s thinking. Is she regretting not giving us a chance? If she is, do I want her to make that decision based on what she’s feeling right now? I’d rather she come to it on her own, because she knows, like I do, that we’re right for each other.

I wonder if it matters. As long as she gets there, does it matter how she did?

All at once, I’m certain the answer is yes. I don’t want to be her choice because she’s feeling lonely. I want to be her choice because she realizes that we belong together.

I clear my throat. “Should we get to work?” I ask.

She looks back up at me, blinking, and I wonder again what she’d been thinking. What has that look of doubt still marring her expression? Then she nods.

She sits in one of my office chairs, and I move around my desk, turning my computer on. I shake myself out of the thoughts of Lis, and we focus on work. When we’re done thirty minutes later, she has a list that she leaves on Derek’s desk for the morning.

“You going to take transit home or walk?” I ask when she returns, getting my jacket on.

“I was thinking of walking. I brought your hoodie for you, but since I didn’t think I’d be here this late, I assume you’re going to make me wear it.”

I grin. “Absolutely. Come on. I’ll walk you home.”

While she pulls the sweater over her head, I catch sight of the flower tattoo on her arm.

“Why the left arm?” I ask when we’re walking along the Seawall.

“What?”

“You and Daze have your tattoos on the left arm. And her and Sophie have their matching tattoos also on the left arm. Why?”

“Because that’s the heart side.”

I nudge her shoulder with mine. “Are you just as toothachingly sweet as Daze and Sophie?”

She flips her hair behind her back, nose in the air. “I prefer to think of it as romantic.”

We walk in silence for a bit and then I ask, “So how are you feeling now?”

She gives me a small smile. “I’ll be fine.”

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