Page 38 of Why Not Both?

“I’m living it,” he says. “I have amazing friends. I love my job. I live in an awesome apartment. What more could I want?”

“So that’s it? You wouldn’t change anything?”

He’s silent for a few minutes and I let him think about my question.

“Maybe. I don’t know. Vic’s talking about expanding and if she does, I’ll probably take on more responsibility. But the four of us discuss all that quarterly. I guess I’ve just been living my life one moment at a time.”

He falls silent again and I can see he’s thinking.

“I never really thought about it before,” he finally says. He’s looking ahead, but I know he’s not really seeing the trees or the path we’re walking. “I honestly love my job. I don’t think I want to do anything else. If we decide to expand Blue Vista and I get more responsibility, that would be fine. But I’m not looking for more there.”

“You say that like you might be looking for more somewhere else in your life.”

“I guess.” He hesitates.

“It’s okay to want more, Spencer. You can be happy in your life and still want more from it.”

He glances at me and the look in his eye has me wondering what he’s thinking.

“Can I think about it and get back to you?”

I almost want to laugh at the question. “It’s your dream, Spencer. You don’t need to tell me what it is. You just need to figure it out for yourself.”

“I want to tell you.” Then he pulls up his signature grin, blinding me with the brightness. “You’ve just thrown me into an existential crisis here, woman. You deserve to know the outcome.”

Chapter 16

Spencer

We make it to the waterfall at the end of the first part of the path. Lis tells me she’s never bothered to continue on and so doesn’t even know where the rest of the path leads. Most people only hike to the lower falls and then turn around. I want to see where we could go from here, but Lis says Cerberus wouldn’t be able to do much more, so we head back.

We talk about our childhoods. Lis tells me about growing up in Maple Ridge and I tell her about growing up in Vancouver and going to private schools with Vic. If she notices my lack of family anecdotes, she doesn’t mention it.

She’s pretty observant. I’m sure she notices.

But I don’t want to talk about my family. Especially not now that I’ve realized that’s what my dream is. I told Lis I wanted to think about it, but the truth is, as soon as she asked the question, I knew.

I want a wife and kids.

I’d tried so hard to build a family for myself with Vic, Derek, and Adalie. We love each other and have each other’s backs. But when it comes right down to it, I want the thing I never had growing up. I want to be the man my father never was. And, since I’m in the mood to be completely honest with myself, I want to see if Lis was the person to do that with.

We’ve only known each other a short time, but I feel like we connect in all the right ways.

We reach the car and Lis spends a few minutes cleaning Cerberus’ feet while he gulps down some water. Then she gets him buckled in and we leave the park.

“So, what did you think?” she asks. “I know it’s no Grouse Grind, thank God. But it’s a nice walk.”

“It’s gorgeous. I looked it up and there are some harder hikes here, too. Maybe one day we can leave Cerberus at your parents’ place and do a difficult one.”

“Sure,” she says. “I’d have to check if they’re working. But we can probably plan something. And if it means I’ll be out here for a visit, Mom will agree in about 0.2 seconds.”

I laugh. “You’re really close with your parents, then?”

She nods, telling me another story about her childhood and growing up with two parents who loved her and her sister to the point of distraction. I’m smiling as I listen, but the closer we get, the more nervous I am.

Lis doesn’t want to date me right now. I feel like I might be able to change her mind, eventually. But if her parents hate me, that will never change.

Cerberus dozes in the back seat until Lis turns off the main road onto a side street. He picks up his head and sniffs. Then he stands and starts wagging his tail and vibrating with excitement.

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