Page 45 of Why Not Both?

“A series of unfortunate events,” I say, realizing too late that everyone would want to know more, and I don’t really want to talk about it. I blindly hand Spencer one of my white cards, not even looking at it. They’re all waiting, though. So, I tell the story.

“After I graduated culinary school, I started working for a company in Burnaby. I wasn’t quite in the thick of Vancouver, but close enough to be able to get out here whenever I wanted.”

No one is looking at their cards now.

“I started dating this guy and it was going well. I got a promotion at work, my boss really liked me, I was moving up. And then my boss found out about my relationship. The guy I was dating was his sous chef and it was apparently against the rules. Except the sous chef never mentioned that to me. I’ve actually wondered if it was even a rule or if the chef was just being a dick. Anyway, I was fired. I’d worked there for almost three years, been dating the guy for four months. When I was fired, the guy broke up with me and I had to start all over again. Daze had just moved to Vancouver and so I moved in with her.”

I don’t say how much I needed to be with someone who loved me back then. Someone who I knew wouldn’t betray me. Daze had been my rock when everything was falling apart around me.

I look up to find everyone staring at me like they don’t know what to say. And I can understand that. Everyone here knows that Spencer and I slept together. And everyone knows that I decided not to pursue a relationship with him. Now, everyone knows why.

I stand, finding a smile. “I’m going to get more wine. Anyone else want something from the kitchen?”

I don’t wait for an answer before going to the fridge. I pour my glass of wine and stand at the counter for a minute.

“I’m sorry that happened to you,” Spencer says.

I’m not surprised he’s followed me.

“It wasn’t you, Spencer,” I say, staring at my wine. “I wanted…”

“I know.”

He wraps his arms around me, and I lean into him.

“But I just can’t go through that again. I can’t. I’m so close to where I want to be.” I can feel the tears fill my eyes and a hard lump form in my throat.

“I know. It’s okay.” He kisses the top of my head, a gesture he’s been doing more and more lately as we hang out more often. It feels so warm and safe in his arms and I wish I could stay there forever. He sighs. “You know, Burke. I don’t know which species is worse.”

I snort, my face still buried in his chest. “Who’s Burke?”

“Guess.”

I shake my head. “Not tonight. You can win this round. Just tell me.”

“It’s from Aliens.”

“So humans are being compared to aliens who eat people?”

“Something like that. It’s a commentary on how shitty humans can be. You ready to go back? No more hard questions. If anything comes up you don’t want to talk about, shift your wine glass toward me and I’ll change the subject.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

I take a deep breath and step back, grabbing my glass and head back to the table. Spencer follows me with a couple beers, handing them out and asking Adalie to tell him about her latest art project.

She launches into an animated explanation of a painting she’s creating.

Later, when we’re on our way home, we all share an Uber. It drops Adalie off first and then me. I’m about to get out of the car when Spencer mentions I don’t have a jacket.

I laugh. “I’m only going up the elevator.”

He follows me out of the car, telling the driver he’ll be right back and pulling his hoodie off and over my head.

“You’re ridiculous,” I tell him, but I also feel so cared for that I don’t complain any more than that.

“I don’t want you to be cold,” he says, walking me to the door.

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