Page 51 of Rousing Renee

“How’d you know I wanted to see you?”

“You are at my apartment door.” She half smiled. “Are you okay?”

Words a broken man never wants to hear. Instead of answering verbally, I shook my head no and went back to looking at the ground.

“Can we go inside and talk about it?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I whispered.

“Okay.” She came over and unlocked the door.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed the back of her neck. “I’ve really missed you, baby.”

“I know, because I’ve missed you, too.” She led me inside and closed the door.

Inside her bedroom, she stripped me down while bathwater ran in the tub.

“We’re going to take a bath together and you’re going to tell me everything.” She spoke as if she were talking to a young skittish child. “And I’m going to make it all better.”

“Promise?” I asked, desperate for someone to be that anchor I was for everybody else.

“Yes. I do.”

When she disappeared into the bathroom, I grabbed my wallet, keys, and the photo from my pockets. I put them on the edge of her dresser but took the photo with me. I didn’t know how this conversation was going to make her feel, but if she was serious about me being honest with her, today was the day to test that theory.

“Climb in for me.” She was naked, beautiful, and making it tough to stay on task.

I did and sat down. She kneeled between my legs and put her hair up in a messy bun. She grabbed a loofa, added body wash, and began lathering it.

“Start from the beginning,” she coached as she washed my body.

“Between showing off properties back home, I’ve also been looking at condos for myself. I put mine on the market, so I need another. I gave Tammy notice to move out, and she’s been avoiding my calls ever since.” I cleared my throat because it was raw from all the yelling and cursing I’d done in the car and here in the hallway. “I found a place, sold mine, and they wanted to move in immediately, which was perfect. Today, I had my things shipped to my new place and because Tammy didn’t want to talk things through, I had her things packed up and set to go into a storage unit. I paid for it to be there for two months so I could be done with the entire situation. While I was doing the walk-through to make sure I hadn’t left anything, I found a box. One with paperwork to confirm that she had her tubes tied. There were other medical documents in there and I dropped the box only to find this inside.” I handed it to her.

She swallowed and with trembling hands she took it from me, already positive of what it was. “She’s pregnant?”

“No, worse.” I pointed to the date at the top.

She put the photo on the edge of the tub and straddled my lap. She pulled my head to her bosom and rested it there.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered in my ear.

It broke the dam, reopening the flood of tears I thought I’d already cried out. The sobs were heavy and hard coming from a place that didn’t understand how anybody could do that. Renee held me tighter, and I let go of every sad thought I had and let it flow from my eyes.

“She didn’t deserve you or it. I know it’s been a while since it happened, but it’s fresh for you. Take that time to grieve.”

“I couldn’t protect them.”

She shook her head. “No, you couldn’t because it’s impossible to keep someone safe you don’t know exists.”

I don’t know when I settled, but Renee went back to washing me and then herself. She rested my head on a white towel, and I relaxed while she did her thing. Then she let out the water and refilled the tub.

“How are you feeling?” she asked.

“Drained, but better.”

“Do you have anything else on your mind?”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t completely honest with you. I wasn’t trying to hide anything, but I did unintentionally. All of that is behind us now. I know today has been heavy, however, it hasn’t ruled my decision. I was going to talk to you, anyway.”

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