Page 49 of Rousing Renee

“Sometimes, people just know.” She walked over to the table she’d arranged as her work station. “Do you mind if I walk with you to class?”

“Not at all. You’re attending?”

“Something like that. It’s week two, which means it’s time to get you guys out of your heads and live out your fantasies.”

I learned what that meant when I got to the room and Ezra wasn’t present. Everybody chatted until Kelly took control of the class.

“The reason why you were all asked to wear really comfortable clothes is because you’ll be doing lots of moving around today. In order to feel sexy when you’re in a very vulnerable state, you’ve got to get out of your head about it. Master EJ is a D-type. He can show you what he likes to see, but he can’t help you get your mind in the right space.” She pulled up a seat and sat down. “We handle the process differently than Dominants do. They summon the active or external version of control. The parts that make a scene move forward when they want, stall when we need, and then pull it all together. For us, our control comes from within or is internal. Our minds keep everything in check and are also being challenged by that outside or external force.”

Weirdly enough, she was making a lot of sense.

“However, we can’t allow our thoughts to pull us completely from the scene. That’s why we have to express our thoughts through our body, pulling some of that control to other areas. For instance, if I’m nervous about a scene and I’m told to kneel, it might look something like this.” Kelly got on her knees and stiffly remained in position. “But if I’m in control of my mind, I can push that into my body.” She relaxed her posture so that her kneel felt more approachable. “And if I’m trusting, in control, and in touch with my feminine energy, I’m more daring. Sexy.” She spread her legs, put her hands behind her back, and looked seductively toward the floor. Every once in a while, she batted her lashes, slowly and deliberately. The top of her breasts were on display, pushed out by her pose, enticing whoever wanted her.

“You expect us to do that?” somebody asked.

“I do. And you have the entire class session today to convince yourself you can do it. Partner up. Remember one thing,” Kelly said as she stood, “you’ll do yourself no justice if you take it easy on one another. Offer suggestions. Help pull one another outside your mental spaces.”

Chatter began as we moved around, partnering up. Elara looked at me and I nodded. After an hour of practicing, I understood why Ezra wasn’t present. Kelly was hands on and helped to adjust us. It also facilitated our ability to relax into the assignment. I don’t think that would have been possible if he had been present.

“Renee, accentuate more of your power through your body. You have beautiful curves that are enticing by themselves. You have to lean into that feminine energy and trust yourself. Give it your all.”

“Submission on the deepest level, taking care of me because you want to, not because you have to, obedience, being open to me however and whenever I want. Enduring as much or as little pain as I want you to. Suffering for my pleasure. Orgasm denial and control. Mind fucks. Degradation. Humiliation. Privately, of course. What’s mine is fucking mine. Wearing my scent. Feminine energy.” I heard Ezra’s voice loud and clear in my mind. “Suffering for my pleasure.”

I closed my eyes and thought about how he made me feel when he watched me suffer. How aroused he became because I was open to him. I relaxed into my pose, resting on my heels, and I tossed my hair to one side, leaving my neck exposed. I found a spot on the floor that was close to where I thought his feet would be if he were watching, and I focused on it. My chest rose and fell heavier because I was aroused, but that was okay. It was for him.

“Perfect!” Kelly kissed my forehead and moved on to the next person.

“Well shit, how do I get a kiss?” Elara sassed.

“Are you into women?” I asked her.

“No, but I have a praise kink and that was hot.” She laughed.

It didn’t take the entire class for everybody to get their stamps of approval, so she taught us a few other poses and how to change them up. Then we all walked over to the rehearsal space. I showed them the routine in pieces. It felt weird at first because I wasn’t used to being the lead. Then I remembered what we’d learned in class and let those preconceived notions die. We accomplished the first part of the moves. I wanted to give everybody two sessions to get it right before I considered cutting people from it. I put emphasis on practicing alone. The better they showed up prepared, the quicker we’d get the routine.

After it was over, I let everybody browse the racks and choose what outfits they wanted. Kelly helped those who needed it, and I tried not to get overly excited about the possibilities this show would bring. I was going to dance again, in front of others who would also be cheering for our success. Though small, it was a dream come true.

The rest of the week was very similar. Ezra wasn’t there at all, but his presence was made known. Flowers at my job, lunch delivered to my apartment, refreshments for every rehearsal, Kelly at my disposal, and he even had a giant-size teddy bear delivered to me with his name embroidered on the shirt it was wearing. I stopped by his apartment on Thursday night, but he wasn’t there. When I asked Kelly about it, she explained that he had real estate properties he was selling this week, but he’d be back in the middle of the third week.

I hated I’d told him I needed space from him, but at the time, it felt necessary. By Tuesday of the third week, I was anxious from all the attention from him though he wasn’t present. I missed him like crazy and needed a hug like yesterday. When I stopped by, he didn’t answer, which hopefully meant he was either asleep or not back yet. Regardless, I wasn’t happy about it and moped all the way to my bed.

I guessed it was going to be yet another sleepless night.

CHAPTER 15

Ezra

I’d shown my condo to so many people in the last week, I didn’t think I was ever going to sell it. I had as of today and I had so much to do to get it ready. Tammy still wasn’t speaking to me once she verified I was “kicking her out of our home”. Her things were still here, but there was a crew that would be here in two hours to pack up her belongings and take them to a storage unit. I’d paid for two months, and she could pick up the keys from the front desk downstairs.

My things were being packed up and relocated to my new place. They were already here so that when the second crew came, all that would be left belonged to her. Everything happened so quickly and before I knew it, everything of mine was gone. I completed a final walk-through to make sure they hadn’t forgotten anything before they departed.

As they worked, I’d been removing Tammy’s things and relocating them to the living room for easier transport. With everything clear, it would only take a matter of moments to…

I walked back into the closet seeing a box pushed against the wall. It blended in with the shelving above it, so I hadn’t noticed it at first. I only realized it was there because with everything being bare, it made the balance of the two shelves off. I stared at it because it seemed like it was hidden and not meant to be noticed.

Taking off the lid, I saw paperwork with Tammy’s name on it. I was going to close it and put it with her things, but the words “tubal ligation,” which I knew was the medical term for her tubes being tied, caught my eye. It was dated back prior to the day I spoke with her doctor, so there was nothing new. Wondering what else she was hiding in this box, I shuffled through the other things inside. More information from her doctor was there, and it was beginning to feel more like I was prying than trying to figure out what the box was. I was about to put everything back when I dropped it all to the ground.

“Fuck.”

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