Page 5 of Rousing Renee

So, what held me back?

“Ezra, your results came back perfectly healthy. No worries that it’s you. I think it’s time to move on to Tammy. See what’s happening inside her body.”

“She’s already seen her doctor. She said she’s fine.” I shook my head, not understanding. “Is it possible for us to both be healthy and not conceive?” I asked.

“There’s always a possibility. It’s about a two percent chance, though. As I said, we need to get her in here so we can take a closer look at everything. I’d like to send her to get additional testing. If it’s easier, I can tell you the names of the tests so she can see if her doctor is able to do them, if she prefers.”

“I’ll talk to her and find out what she wants. Doc, are you sure it’s not me?” I asked him again so I could quiet the lingering thoughts.

“Positive. I’ve put you through enough to know. Worst case, we can fertilize her eggs with your sperm.”

“Hmm… okay.” I stood up and shook his hand. “Thanks.”

“My pleasure. I’ll be expecting your call.”

I walked out of his office feeling lighter. I didn’t want to be the issue. Hell, I didn’t want her to be either, but I’d sold myself on the idea of seeing the world through the eyes of a face that looked like mine.

I called Tammy twice but she didn’t answer. She was probably in the shower. So instead of exiting the hospital, I walked over to her OBGYN to see if they had openings to schedule appointments for her.

“What’s it for?” the receptionist asked.

“We need a few tests done for fertility,” I said, while tapping lightly on the counter.

“Okay. You’ll need a referral. I’ll let the doctor know and she’ll give you a call.”

“Thank you. If she can’t get a hold of Tammy, she has my info.”

“Okay. I’ll let her know.”

I left the desk and drove to pick up breakfast since it wasn’t even ten a.m. yet. There was a place called Jan’s next to where we lived that was our favorite. Getting the protein breakfast for me, I got Tammy’s favorite. It was called Fruit By the Way. Basically, it was a fruit-flavored yogurt base inside a granola pie crust with a bunch of fruit on top, sprinkled with honey, chia, and cinnamon, and they topped it off with whip cream and roasted pecans. Tammy always added toasted almonds. It was a treat she didn’t get often, but one she loved. It made my steak, sausage, and bacon with sunny-side-up eggs and toast look mediocre. No matter how flavorful and delicious it was, it didn’t compare to the beautiful concoction she ate.

When I pulled into the garage, my cell rang. It was Tammy’s doctor’s office. I answered the phone as I was retrieving the bags and getting out.

“Mr. Hamilton, it’s Dr. Vaughn. I just wanted to touch base about the appointment request. Did you guys change your mind already? I thought I explained the risks of Tammy getting her tubes tied. I suggested waiting three to six months to have them reversed so we can make sure the decision is one of sound mind. Why did you guys decide getting pregnant was a good idea after the procedure was complete? It hasn’t even been two weeks.”

Silence. It stretched on because I was afraid that if I spoke, I wouldn’t be able to reclaim the air I’d just lost.

“Mr. Hamilton, are you still there?”

“Yes.” No. “I’m sorry. I’m in the garage and I didn’t understand a thing you said. Can you start over?” I heard it all but wanted to make sure I hadn’t made that shit up.

“When Tammy came in for her tubes to be tied. I explained to her the two of you needed to wait three to six months before we could try to reverse them. Did she not explain that to you? It was only two weeks ago.”

“I’ve been working a lot and I guess it slipped my mind. I’ll get with her so we can go over the details again.” That wasn’t a lie. I had been working a lot and that had to be the reason why I was completely clueless to my girlfriend getting her tubes tied without telling me. I had to be so far out of it for her to think this would be fine with me.

Two weeks ago, she told me she was going in for them to do liposuction on her stomach. She was sore for a bit afterward, but not once did she say…

“Also, since it seems like there was a lot of information given to her at once, can you remind her that she doesn’t need to continue the birth control?”

I hung up the phone because truly I didn’t have anything to say. At least, not to her.

Going upstairs, I walked past the doorman without a word. I didn’t acknowledge the other people on the elevator. I also didn’t remember walking to the front door and unlocking it. All I could think about was the number of lies I’d been told.

But I knew something was off.

I sat down at the dining room table with my food in front of me, but I was no longer hungry. Hers sat across from me in the seat Tammy usually occupied as if today were a normal day. It wasn’t.

“Hey! I didn’t hear you come in.” Tammy bounced into the room and kissed me on my cheek. “Oh! You got us Jan’s.”

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