Page 32 of Rousing Renee

“You too, Sir.”

He got dressed, and it was impossible not to notice how hard he was. The front of his boxer briefs had a wet spot there, and I smiled, glad I wasn’t the only one affected. I walked him to the door and was gifted with a kiss. When he left, I looked around my apartment.

“I’ll never look at you the same,” I mumble to the environment. I couldn’t unsee him on the couch, my bed, the doorway of my closet, or at the front door.

And I didn’t want to. Not even in the slightest.

CHAPTER 9

Ezra

Monday was about being in tune with their own bodies, going deeper inside to understand themselves. Wednesday was about going inside the mind for a deeper look, with a journal entry to turn in. Friday was about going deeper into their spiritual self–I didn’t mean religiously. What settles them? Brings them peace? Feels safe? Soothes those deep traumatic places?

When we reviewed the week, some of the submissives admitted it was a tough week. Others were grateful for not having to worry about small things like what to wear each day, because they were busy getting to know other elements about themselves they were unfamiliar with. Renee was quiet for most of the class, speaking only when we did a roundtable check in with each person.

“I’ve done a lot of work over the last six months to make sure I was a better version of myself. In this week alone, I’ve seen my therapist three times because I was unsettled by not knowing simple things about myself. It made me realize how much I’ve allowed the wrong people to nurture my habits. I truly love dancing, and I’ve denied myself doing so because it brought back bad feelings affiliated with my mother. She’s not even alive, and she was still controlling my life. Dancing this week has made me feel so refreshed and energized. I don’t want to make it weird, but I wanted to thank you, Professor, for allowing me that small bit of joy.”

A few of the girls clapped to help celebrate her accomplishment. Others nodded in agreement, having had their own epiphanies.

“Same. Between the lectures and assignments, even the assigned partner, I’ve learned so much this week,” Elara chimed in. “I didn’t think this class was going to be like this.”

“Me either.” A few replied with similar statements.

“I’m glad you’re all learning something and that you don’t hate me too much.”

“The jury is still out.” Renee looked at me.

I chuckled because I knew why she was saying it. She was horny as hell, and I still hadn’t given in to us having sex yet. She’d been on edge since Tuesday night at our sleepover. She’d tried to win me over by talking about her pending period, but blood didn’t scare me. Neither did her pleas for release via text. She’d only seen me in class and we didn’t have any plans for the weekend… yet. I hadn’t told her, but I had a date planned for this evening. So her coded message was funny in multiple ways to me and the others had no idea. Their partners weren’t public information, so nobody knew we were paired. It wouldn’t stop any rumors about us dating, though. I wouldn’t hide that and didn’t expect her to either.

The entire world would know it. Eventually, I planned to make her mine. No questions asked. In time, she’d be all that mattered. I wanted her to be sure, without the doubts and wavering trust issues. She needed more time, and I had the patience of a determined man. She’d surrender in due time.

Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Tick… tock.

When I got back to my apartment, I hurried to handle the rest of my schedule before I met Renee at Leroy’s Place down in Porter’s Corner. When I arrived, I was seated by Roxanne, a woman who appeared to be in her sixties. She was polite but didn’t offer me more than normal pleasantries. She sat me at a booth toward the back and I waited for Renee to arrive. It didn’t take long before she was happily strolling my way down the aisle. She kissed me quickly and then told me she’d be back as she had to go to the bathroom. I picked up the menu and busied myself with looking it over until she came back. When she returned, I didn’t put the menu down right away.

“I think I’m going to have the ribs and mashed potatoes with corn. What do you think?” I put the menu down to see that the woman who was sitting opposite of me wasn’t Renee. “What are you doing here, Tammy?” What the fuck was she doing here?

“I was tired of talking to your assistant instead of you,” she said when I glared at her.

“So you came to where I was working? What, did you follow me? How does this help you with anything? Because we went from me ignoring you, to me being cordial enough to give us a go between, and now you’re trying to force my hand by coming here?”

“I have an appointment to get my tubes untied,” she blurted. “Ezra, I love you and though you’ve seemed to have moved on”—she gestured at the second menu on the table with her head—“I haven’t.”

“I didn’t lie to you, so it makes sense you don’t feel negatively toward me. You… did. Every day for three years you lied inside our relationship. Outside of it, the years that lead up to us being together, you lied then, too. You said you understood what having children meant to me. You deliberately made your future match mine so you could get everything you wanted with no fucking care about how selfish it was to me. So, excuse me if I’ve moved on to trying to find somebody who really does match up to me.”

“Will you ever forgive me?” she asked. Tears filled her eyes, and I remembered a time when the sight of them would have turned me into a broken man. Only the tears shed after a release were welcomed as a result of me.

“No.” I shrugged. “I can’t forgive those kinds of lies.”

“Why are you being so cruel? I don’t understand,” she cried.

Roxanne came back to the table to take our order. When she saw Tammy there, she squinted. “Did you need a menu, too, dear?”

Somebody cleared their throat from behind Roxanne, and I closed my eyes. Tammy had the worst fucking timing to pop back up. The days before today, we could have had this conversation, and she could have left without a trace. Today, I’d asked Renee to dinner so we could spend the evening together. I didn’t want anything Tammy had to say or do around the good things brewing between Renee and myself.

“Aren’t you going to introduce us?” Tammy asked.

“No need. Understand one thing though, we’re done. I don’t want you back and there is no chance of us rekindling what we had.”

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