Page 22 of Rousing Renee

Me: ?? you messaged me first.

Ezra: And now focus.

Me: Yes, Sir.

I turned toward the speaker and listened to what I hoped was the end of her long story. When everybody finished, Ezra took a second to do whatever he was doing on his tablet and we sat in silence, waiting.

“You should be receiving emails shortly. Everybody has been partnered with a Dominant from the Ranch, who will be your final exam. Your job over the term is to be able to seduce them with your new skill set. You’ll meet with them and will be graded by them on where you are now and then at the end to show the progression. Weekly, you’ll be given assignments that will help you perfect those skills. Your Dominant will receive similar information so they understand what to look for. Grades for the class will not be shared. Also, it’s important for you to know this isn’t a matchmaking game. You very well may not like who you’re partnered with. That’s okay. The goal is to learn and be better than you were before this class.”

I took notes in my notebook so I could have a reference point. I preferred it over a voice recorder or even typing them up. It helped to get the information to stick.

“Starting with your next class, you’ll arrive in clothing pre-approved by your partner for every session. You’ll wear them the way you’re instructed, no matter how ridiculous it may feel. The point is for you to trust they would never do anything to harm or hurt you. My professional Dominants know how to act accordingly. And if you don’t trust them yet, I do. Trust that I’ve ensured each and every one of you will be taken care of.”

Listening to him, it felt much different hearing him speak to us than what I remembered about him. He hadn’t been this confident when he was younger. He commanded the room as he walked to the classroom. His voice projected from all the corners, and I watched as all the submissives in the room became putty in his hands, including me. For the first time since seeing him again, I wondered… who in the hell is Ezra Hamilton, really?

When my email chimed with the class syllabus and information about the course, including my partner, my mouth dropped open. I looked up at him and he squinted at me. I bit my tongue and decided I’d stay after and ask him what he was up to. I didn’t want him as my partner while we were dating. It would confuse things and if we didn’t work out, I’d still have to see him in that capacity.

He went back to speaking and I let it go for now. We’d discuss it later. Until then, I would be a bundle of nerves who worried about the assignment as it was. We were putting a lot of trust in people we didn’t know. The only way I knew how to do that was to get to know them. Though I trusted Ezra as my professor, my past experiences had taught me to confirm that I needed to be careful with the person whose care I was in. My boundaries wouldn’t allow this assignment to be any different. Regardless of if Ezra remained my partner or if he swapped with someone else, I needed to feel safe. That was my number one concern.

After class, I stood in line to talk to him, making sure I was last. When he finally got to me, he didn’t hide the smile on his face.

“I wish I would have known this is the thing you were so excited about,” he said to me when I neared him. “I had no clue you were in my class.”

“They don’t send you the information when we register?” I asked.

“All of that stuff goes to my assistant. She handles it. Aside from the syllabus, she does everything else.”

“Including the partnerships?” I asked sarcastically.

“Especially that. She’s got a knack for putting people together who are a good fit. If it were up to me, I’d just let a generator do it. She came up with a system that interviews the Dominants and takes the information from the submissives and it creates some kind of profile she uses. It’s too technical for my blood, but she loves it. Why was there an issue with who you were matched with?” He picked up his tablet and clicked a few things. “Oh,” he said flatly.

Was he disappointed?

“I can have her change it.”

“So you really didn’t have anything to do with it?” I asked with my hand on my hip, not sure if I believed him.

“Here…” He handed me his tablet and on the screen, there was an email from a Kelly Suarez virtual assistant. It was some kind of super master sheet with the information she’d compiled.

“Okay. Sorry… I just…” I sighed.

“Trust has to be earned, Renee. I’m not in the business of breaking it. It’s a super fragile thing and hard to repair.”

I nodded, agreeing with everything he was saying. I hated how easy he was making everything, which made it difficult to know whether it was real or if I was projecting how much I wanted it to be real. This was something I was still working through in therapy. Maybe I should bring it up to her. Dr. Crosby was good at helping me work through things to the point where I could make decisions on my own. Second guessed myself less after discussing my fears around topics.

“Are you okay?” Ezra asked.

“I am. Can I think about it and get back to you before our next class?”

“Sure.” He nodded, and I didn’t feel like he was trying to make me feel guilty for questioning any of it. He seemed to understand and didn’t fight me. That was new for me.

“I’ll talk to you later, Ezra.” I smiled politely and exited the room.

My mind was bogged down with so much of him that I knew it would stir anxiety. I quickly texted Dr. Crosby to see if she had time to meet with me. When she said she had an opening in an hour, I hurried to my apartment to drop off my things and to get changed for work since I’d have to go there right after.

I got there on time and when I walked into the session, it was with the weight of the world on my shoulders and with a bouquet that had been waiting for me when I arrived home. They were from Ezra, of course, and very beautiful. There was one thing I knew for sure. I liked Ezra and wanted to keep dating him. That’s why all the fears were surfacing. Because dating him meant making myself vulnerable once again. That had never worked out for me in the past.

So why should it now?

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